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Princess Poop
Tuesday, November 16th, 2010

NaNo Day 15:
Viking-2—2328 words
TW—1257 words

As you can tell, a very productive day yesterday, despite one very, very naughty little 23-month-old…

I live for her naps. They last at least a couple of hours every day. While she sleeps, I slam pages. Yesterday, she was taking an unusually long nap. I’d sneak by her door and listen—not a peep—and head back to work.

Finally, I knew I couldn’t leave her there longer, otherwise I’d never get her to bed that night. When I opened the door, I wanted to back right out and wait hours for her mother to come home. In her boredom, little princess had stripped off her clothes and her diaper. Then she’d pooped in the center of her bed.

That wasn’t enough. Apparently, warm poop feels really good between your toes because she couldn’t help herself. There wasn’t an inch of bed bottom that didn’t have little poopy footprints. Still not enough?

She’d decided she was an artist. Bright orangey-brown poop was smeared into the sides of the bed, over the top. And poop makes for a fabulous facial becasue she had in her nose, across her cheeks, in her hair…

Oh yes. One of those moments when I wonder why I didn’t tie my tubes after the son. At the time, I was too horrified to think, but now I wished I’d taken one picture as revenge. Someday she would have brought a date to the house and introduced him, and I would have pointed to the picture over the mantle and told him all about Princess Poop.

But y’all don’t want to hear about my adventure. You want to know who won yesterday’s prizes. I’ll wait to hear from Adele, but the winner of my Access Romance contest is…Tracey D! Tracey, congrats and be sure to email me!

5 comments to “Princess Poop”

  1. Diane Sadler
    Comment
    1
      · November 16th, 2010 at 10:31 am · Link

    that was so funny! You never know what they can get up to.



  2. Brandy W
    Comment
    2
      · November 16th, 2010 at 11:55 am · Link

    Dear god I’m horrified and thankful none of my kids ever did that. Just the thought of cleaning all of it makes me shudder.



  3. Valerie
    Comment
    3
      · November 16th, 2010 at 12:58 pm · Link

    Congrats Tracey!!!

    And yes, I’ve had a couple of Princess Poop and Prince Poop moments in my child-rearing days….hehe!!!

    Valerie
    in Germany
    you know, the one with the eleven kids!!!



  4. Estella
    Comment
    4
      · November 16th, 2010 at 3:47 pm · Link

    Too funny—because it happened to someone else!



  5. Miranda Baker
    Comment
    5
      · November 21st, 2010 at 5:32 pm · Link

    Oh, my God, Delilah! My oldest daughter did that. We still reference the “Sh#@ Storm” occasionally. You never forget those moments. Two of my children segued into becoming projectile vomit artists as well. I lay claim to having the classiest kids on the block! But they’re mine, and I love ’em.