Thank you to Delilah for having me today. I’ve been fortunate enough to have about a dozen erotic romance novels, novellas and short stories published, some with e-publishers and some now indie published. This is the Best Job Ever! Before I pimp my latest release, I’d like to say a few words about non-writing things. And I imagine I’ll end up sounding like a crabby ole woman. Maybe I am.
HGTV. What the heck’s happened with that network? There’s no more, or very little, design going on. When I first began watching, there were fun shows like Design on a Dime and shows with hosts like Candice Olson, David Bromstad and Sarah Richardson. I always considered these shows akin to romance novels. You start with a problem house, a team works together to design it and make it pretty, and then there’s a happy ending. There are other design shows on but they seem to be few and far between and hard to find.
When did the network decide that the viewers wanted to watch CONFLICT? All caps! House Hunters. If I hear one more person demand two sinks in the master bath, I’m going to scream. Two sinks is just one more you have to clean. But in my opinion, the shows have gotten meaner and more conflict oriented. Love It or List It. The homeowners are overly rude to Hilary the designer and the realtor David. They look Hilary and David in the eye and snottily insult them. Of course, all the rehab looks gorgeous by the end of the show but for an hour the viewer is treated to bitchiness and nastiness. And of course, we know this is all scripted. I mean they use the exact same phrases on every show.
Contest shows like Design Star can be fun to watch. They hit the bell the first year with David Bromstad. But pitting neighbor against neighbor in a design contest is, again, too full of false friction and hostility for me.
I refuse to watch House Hunters any longer. Same old, same old. Same with Property Brothers although the brothers are pretty to look at. These shows are scripted. When you hear the exact same phrases in every show, it’s hard to keep the eyeballs from rolling out of your head.
I like Income Property with Scott McGillivray. Funny, handsome, an expert at rehab? What’s not to like?
My new favorite show is Rehab Addict with Nicole Curtis. You’ve got to love someone who takes houses near to being torn down and makes them beautiful again. She shows them the love and respect they deserve. Now that’s the new romance novel/design show I can believe in.
Ask my husband: This isn’t the end of my rants. Don’t get me started about commercials with “real people.” I gotta admit those “real people” are good actors. And I do like some shows, just not CONFLICT shows. Two sit-coms – The Middle and Modern Family. They’ve become my go to for laughs since Seinfeld is off the air. And thank God for reruns.
Now, if you’re not completely pissed with my opinions and me, here’s some info about my latest release Lost and Found, an erotic M/F contemporary romance from Ellora’s Cave. Hunky Marine Marc Rahn enlisted after his high school graduation to escape the pain of his parents’ fatal car wreck. Now on leave after eight years and multiple Middle East deployments, he returns to his small hometown to put to rest his suspicions that the “accident” might actually have been anything but.
What he doesn’t expect is an intriguing flash of a pierced nipple from a new neighbor on move-in day. The breast’s owner, Phoebe Barnes, is a beautiful young jazz singer who plans to make it big in the music business. Her early years in foster care made her hungry for attention and fame, and she’s out to achieve both at almost any cost.
Despite their differing paths, Marc and Phoebe quickly give in to the sizzling attraction between them. But will their passion turn deadly when the person who killed Marc’s family decides two murders might not have been enough?
After reading this blurb, you might ask, “Well, what does make you happy, Jane?” Writing erotic romance makes me happy, when it’s not driving me nuts.
My first pen to paper and when I began writing, erotic words flowed freely. I was mildly surprised but not for long. I soon learned this is the best job in the world. Every book I’ve written is a gem in my eyes. Naturally enough. So, with this excerpt from Lost and Found, I hope you can see what I mean.
Nose to nose, her eyes still closed, their lips barely touching, she felt the heat rise off his skin. Then she realized what he’d suggested. Home. Oh no. They were so not having sex.
Well, she’d handled that well. She’d insisted on going to her own house. On the porch, he’d leaned in for a kiss and now they were inside the door with her back to the wall, his long body pressing against her, chest to knee. His full lips covered hers. Clung to hers. It wasn’t just his mouth that devastated her soul. His arms surrounded her, one hand pressed against her back, the other cupping her head. Even if she wanted to escape him, she couldn’t.
He sipped and nipped at her mouth, the kisses so sweet, almost virginal. Virginal because he didn’t use his tongue. Hers was at the ready, just waiting, not sure what she was waiting for. His kisses went on and on, gentle and so mesmerizing.
She pressed his nipple with two fingers, circled the disk and squeezed the hardened tip. He sucked in a breath and rolled his tongue into her mouth. His grip on her head tightened while his tongue explored and grazed alongside hers. She responded, moaning, sucking and playing just as fiercely.
Her hips flexed against him, ground against his cock. He was so large, so hard against the softness of her belly. Her clit throbbed in answer. Moisture flooded her panties.
He lifted her off her feet. “Bed? Where’s your bed?” His voice was rough and purposefully seductive.
Oh God, I’m not ready for this. She shook her head and pushed at his shoulders. When he put her down, she took a step backward, tripped and landed flat on her back with a shriek.
“What the…!” She’d landed on some sort of cushion. Why would there be a cushion on the floor? There was supposed to be a clear path from the door across the living room to her bedroom.
A lamp flicked on. She saw Marc bending over it. Then her gaze landed on… “What the hell?” she repeated. Shock kept her on the floor in an indelicate sprawl. Her living room had been totally ransacked. Papers, books, throw pillows and couch cushions were ripped up and tossed everywhere. Glass vases had been broken and their fresh flowers and water soaked into the hardwood floor.
And check out my blog to find out about my smokin’ hot indie releases – http://janeleopoldquinn.blogspot.com
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Any comments about HGTV? Tell me how you absolutely can’t live without two sinks in your master bath.