While Iām away, I let my friends come out to play. Welcome Lexi from Romance Writer by Night… ~DD
Iāve got a confession to make.
I used to hate Valentineās Day.
Thatās a horrible thing for a romance writer to admit, but itās true. This whole season, stretching from the day after Christmas until Valentineās Day, is the season of romance, right? Well, itās not so easy to stay festive when youāre single. Iāve got a birthday right before Valentineās Day, too, just to add that extra kick. It was a triple whammy: no midnight kiss, another year older and then another dateless Valentineās Day! Yay, me! How could I think of romance when the whole world was a huge reminder that I was single?
Iāve come to realize, though, that hating Valentineās Day and singledom in general is no way to go through life, especially as a not-yet-married romance writer. If ever there was a time to make lemonade from the proverbial lemons, itās right now. So Iāve turned my attitude around, and Iāve discovered that the lemonade has been good for my writing, too. Hereās how.
1. Window Shopping for Heroes
Checking guys out. Itās one of the biggest perks of the single life. Not that women in relationships canāt check guys out, of course they can. No harm in looking, right? Especially if theyāre looking for heroes to star in their stories. Hey, they canāt all look like the SO or the DH.
But thereās a certain shameless freedom that we single ladies can bring to the table. Even if all we do is look, the knowledge that we could do more than that—flirt, swap numbers, fly to Vegas for a wild weekend culminating in an Elvis-themed wedding—makes the whole project more exciting. So when we check guys out, we can do it with a dual purpose. That guy across the room might have the perfect look for our next story, or he might turn out to be our real-life leading man. Wouldnāt that be an awesome āhow we metā story?
2. Being Positively Wishful
Itās not easy to think romantic thoughts when your one of your eight bags of groceries has exploded in the parking lot, leaving you alone, in the rain, to put everything back together so you can get it up all those stairs to your home. Thatās not easy at all. (Donāt ask how I know.) But it does pay off. Before I learned to love Valentineās Day, Iād have lots of colorful words to share with the parking lot and my groceries and my nonexistent boyfriend about how wonderful it was to be lugging two weeksā worth of food all the way from the car to the front door. Now Iāve seen the light.
Today, when Iām faced with one of those single-girl challenges like leaping across the rainy parking lot without dropping any of my single-serving frozen foods, I ask myself this question: How would I rather have this work out? Then I let my imagination run with the idea.
Maybe a hot stranger hops out of his car with an umbrella. Maybe I chase a wayward can of corn down the sidewalk until it rolls onto the patio of his studio apartment. Maybe, while Iām huddled beneath my raincoat on his patio, rearranging my groceries, I catch a glimpse of him through the sliding glass door. Maybe heās a good-looking artist, the lean, intense type, adding the finishing touches to a painting ⦠of an equally lean, intense male model ⦠who sees me on the patio. Now thatās nice, isnāt it? Even though, in reality, I havenāt left my pile of spilled groceries in the parking lot, far from my front door, Iāve got a nice story idea in my head and a smile on my face. That wonāt put my stuff back in the bag or stop the rain, but that hey-it-could-happen feeling does make the heavy lifting more bearable.
3. Making the War Stories into Your Stories
Into every womanās single life wanders the occasional Evil Ex-Boyfriend.
Okay, maybe āevilā isnāt the right word. After all, none of my exes has plotted world domination, or built a weather machine designed to melt the polar ice cap, or re-animated the dead. At least not that Iām aware of. But Evil Ex-Boyfriend has a certain ring to it that Amoral, Self-Absorbed Creep doesnāt.
Thoughts of the Evil Ex have a way of resurfacing in a single girlās mind at this time of year. Well, thatās fine. Now those thoughts have a place to go: the WIP (Work-In-Progress). I used my memories—the despair, the blame, the shock, all that great stuff—to add detail to my heroineās breakup with her own Evil Ex. The more I thought about it, the more detail I could weave in, from the icy prickle of anger to the smug expression on Mr. Evilās face. My heroineās Evil Ex became someone who felt real without becoming a copy of my real exes, and getting those feelings onto the page made me feel better about surviving that pain.
Iām not a huge believer in the New Yearās Resolution; Iāve got some long-term commitment issues, which Iām sure are totally unrelated to my current single status. But I am determined to take advantage of the single life, both the perks and the unhappy memories, as Valentineās Day approaches. Singledomās been pretty good to me, all things considered, and now itās making me a better writer, too.
Whatās not to love about that?