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Guest Blogger: M.K. Elliott
Friday, August 19th, 2011

Writing Good Sex

As an erotica author, I’m asked so many times where I get my inspiration from. I have to be honest, much of what I write comes from experience. Now before you all gasp and I’m labelled something I’m not (I’ve been the same man since I was twenty-one) I have had good sex. I’m talking all kinds; passionate, dirty, with a vast range of toys and other funs things going on.

There are some things I haven’t experienced. I’ve not had any forays into any lesbian encounters but in those situations, I’ve got a pretty decent imagination, and hell, haven’t we all fantasized?

So when I’m writing, I definitely use my own personal experiences to help describe the sex in my books. And writing good sex is all about the description. The reader wants to be taken along with every last lick and suck and nibble. They want to feel exactly what the characters are feeling and, by reading, experience the range of sensations and emotions for themselves.

When I first started writing erotica, I never imagined it would be of benefit in my regular writing (I also write paranormal fiction) but it definitely has. I’m so much more aware now of how I’m conveying the senses of my characters to my readers. I now consciously think about every sense; the taste of salt on someone’s skin, the musky scent of a woman’s arousal, the hard ridge of muscle on a man’s stomach. In erotica, we want details. We want to know everything the character is experiencing.

Here is a “no-no” when it comes to writing erotica. Never, ever finish a really hot sex scene with “and then he/she came…” Just like real sex, it’s all about the big “O”. The reader wants to experience every toe-curling, body shuddering, last delightful thrust of it. The orgasm is the turning point in the story, the moment when the couple (or more) go from that height of excitement into whatever relationship they’ll have going forward.

I read a discussion recently about whether a virgin would be able to write good erotica. Surely, like many other things an author may write about (sci-fi authors describing going into space/horror authors describing being eaten by zombies/historical authors describing living in the 1800’s) just because they haven’t actually done any of it, doesn’t mean they should be any less good at writing about it. It’s a good argument but it’s one I would have to disagree with. Writing erotica is all about the sensations and if it’s a feeling you’ve never experienced properly (or at all!) how can you properly convey it to others?

Sure, the type of sex we want to read about might not be quite what we’re used to experiencing—the setting is bound to be sexier, the characters are going to be hotter (no beer bellies or saggy bits please!) but that doesn’t mean we can’t add a little of our own experiences to our tales.

So here’s what I think, to all those would-be erotica authors out there. Want to write about toys or anal, then why not give it a go first? After all, there is no better research than experiencing something for yourself and if you want to write about it, why the hell not have a bit of fun at the same time!

M.K. Elliott was born in Devon, England, where she now lives with her husband , two young daughters, a mad Spanish rescued dog and four hens. Though she has a degree in Zoology, her true love has always been writing and she now works as a full time author. M.K. writes everything from contemporary romance to steaming hot erotica, and her love of travel and adventure is her main influence in her stories.

M.K. is the author of the Barnes & Noble best-selling collection, Rescued. She’s also had a number of titles in the Amazon top 100 for erotica, including Rescued, Some Love it Hot, and her bi-sexual vampire novella, Deadly Beauty. Her latest short story collection, Some Love it Rough is now available to buy from

You can find out more about M.K. by visiting her Facebook page or by following her on Twitter.

10 comments to “Guest Blogger: M.K. Elliott”

  1. tammy ramey
    · August 19th, 2011 at 9:11 am · Link

    thanks for the great post.

  2. Delilah Devlin
    · August 19th, 2011 at 11:50 am · Link

    Thanks for the great post! I love it when readers ask me if I’ve tried everything I write about. I mean, I’ve never been to hell. Why would they assume I’ve done it with 5 guys?

  3. M.K. Elliott
    · August 19th, 2011 at 12:20 pm · Link

    Thanks for having me, Delilah! Yeah, I think the five guys at once thing might be pushing it! Honestly, I´m not sure if I´d be impressed or worried if everything an erotica author wrote about was based on something they´d actually done themselves!

  4. Lise Horton
    · August 19th, 2011 at 12:55 pm · Link

    Fabulous post, and spot on when it comes to dispensing with the old adage, “write what you know”. Once I discovered how much I enjoyed writing erotica (after a long, misplaced fear that I couldn’t write sex scenes at all for some reason) I discovered how much I like writing BDSM. Except for some self-flagellation, I haven’t had the good fortune to experience it. But there are research books, and honey, I have one heck of an imagination! Thanks for sharing and I can only second – anything you can give a whirl to see what it’s like so you can write it? Go for it! 😈

  5. Nicole Passante
    · August 19th, 2011 at 4:02 pm · Link

    Very Interesting thank you for the view into your head. As a sexually adventurous and monogamous woman I love erotica. It is a wonderful journey into fantasy with possible bedroom ideas.

  6. Marika Weber
    · August 19th, 2011 at 4:39 pm · Link

    Mu hubby certainly appreciates me reading erotica. 😉

  7. Nicole Passante
    · August 19th, 2011 at 8:53 pm · Link

    LOL Marika, mine too!

  8. M.K. Elliott
    · August 20th, 2011 at 1:42 am · Link

    Nicole, I think your comment hit it right on the head! ´Monogamous and sexually adventurous´ is exactly how I feel.

    Marika, I can´t get my hubby to read any of my erotica. His POV is that he likes to watch his porn *sighs*. I´m hoping one day he´ll be able to understand the difference…

  9. Emily Tardy
    · August 20th, 2011 at 7:48 pm · Link

    :mrgreen: My Hubby wonders why I like to read it! lol… Everybody has their fantasies, it doesn’t mean they ARE going to act them out.

  10. Luna
    · August 21st, 2011 at 3:47 am · Link

    Here, here! 😆 And I agree with virgins could write erotica. What if they have really, REALLY distinct imaginations and had seen a lot (A LOT!) of movies with sex in it. But you’re also right to say that experience is the best teacher. The writer often pours her passion and emotion into the writing and THAT is what the reader reads and gets from a good book. That’s what also links the writer and the reader (transcendentally :mrgreen: )…Hmm, maybe I should drop my boyfriend a call, prep the room, open the laptop and get going!!! LOL

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