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Guest Blogger: Cathleen Ross
Sunday, September 8th, 2013

I’m thrilled to be on talented author Delilah Devlin’s blog.

Real life affects my writing so today I’m going to talk about cheating. Infidelity is a big subject to tackle in a romance. When this happened in real life  to someone close to me, she described it as a piece of her heart had died. Not only was she in pain but so were her family and friends who grieved with her. What I didn’t expect was for my real life friend to get back together with her husband. Could she ever really forgive her cheating husband? I spent so much time trying to help my friend pick up the pieces I ended up writing a fictional novel about it.

In novels, we authors get to make things right again, but it wasn’t easy for me as a writer to find a way for my character to forgive her cheating husband. I had to find a real reason as to why my character cheated on his wife. I also wanted to explore the idea of the wife living out her fantasy of an erotic affair with a younger man, once she had decided her marriage was over, so I had a lot of fun with this sexy fantasy. I hope you’ll enjoy it too.

Cathleen Ross

Love Lust and Lies

Family, friends, culture, and expectation clash in this heart-wrenching story of a broken marriage — and the battle to repair it.

Gabriella Vitadini thought she had the perfect marriage until her husband Tony stopped wanting her, and started wanting other women instead. Throwing him out of the house was the only thing she could do — how does she throw him out of her heart?

When a much younger man reminds her that she is still a desirable woman, Gabriella reminds herself that turnabout is fair play. But even a naughty fling can’t eject Tony from her thoughts. What happened to their happy marriage? Why did Tony turn away from her? And is there any hope that they can find true love again?

As Dave walked beside me, his hand kept brushing mine. I could feel the little hairs on his hands touching mine. Already a shiver passed up my arm. I was supposed to be selling him an apartment, but I couldn’t stop thinking about sex.

When we arrived at the Temple, we took the elevator up to the apartment. “It’s good this time of morning. You’ll get to see the apartment in daylight.”

Dave stood close beside me, so that his leather jacket brushed my arm. I could smell his cologne, a mixture of spice and wood scent. The elevator door opened and we stepped out into the foyer and walked into the spacious living area.

“I already know I want it, Gabrrrriella. It is bellissima.”

“You do?”

“Si. I’ve looked already at many new apartments. This one is the best, no?”

I couldn’t believe it. There was a sale in front of me. A sale!

But Dave wasn’t looking around him at the view of the Harbour. Instead, he stood kissing distance away, looking straight into my eyes. “I want you in it. Last night I couldn’t sleep.”

My throat went dry. Dave bent and kissed me.

And what did I do?

I wrapped my arms around him like a woman starved of affection. Could I eradicate Tony from my life by being with Dave? I didn’t know, but I wanted to try. I should have been thinking about my sale, but Dave’s body was hard and lean and I so desperately wanted him inside of me. What woman wouldn’t want a man like Dave devoted to her?


Where can you find the book?

8 comments to “Guest Blogger: Cathleen Ross”

  1. sharon chalk
    · September 8th, 2013 at 11:19 am · Link

    I had to buy this book,I know so many people that are divorced and yet its obvious that they still love each other,but once the papers are signed its like their pride keeps them from figuring out whats wrong and working on the problem.If abuse whether it be physical,mental,alcohol,or drug,I could understand,but most of them just seemed to drift apart.In fact at least 3 of the couples got remarried within a year of the divorce and so a book where they had been married and now the marraige is over,maybe,it grabbed my attention because maybe I could loan it to a couple of friends before their marraige reaches this point. Hope so!!

  2. Judy Stone
    · September 8th, 2013 at 1:37 pm · Link

    Extremely painful subject. I was a Catholic virgin bride–I thought I was the only 18-year-old virgin in college and the Commonwealth of Virginia. 🙂 I assumed the groom was a caring, sensitive, gentle man with emotional depth who would stand by my side forever. My assumptions left skid marks. Cut to the chase. I was physically and emotionally abused by an alcoholic husband, my parents were on the other coast, and I was ashamed and humiliated. Everyone thought he was Mr. Wonderful. I hung on because I spoke binding vows and the Church forbade divorce. I clung to the belief that he would never cheat–his mom cheated and it wounded him on a fundamental level. Can you see where this is going? He called me by another woman’s name, not in passion, but during a normal conversation. I was crushed. Everyone, his parents (!), our friends, absolutely everyone knew. Long story short (too late!), I joined Al Anon, got my head together, and filed for divorce. He was in Florida with his girlfriend when the divorce was finalized. When the judge asked where he was and I told him, the man didn’t even blink. After the divorce I had a mini-breakdown and got counseling. Got my act together, sold the house, gave the SOB his share and moved out West.
    Took a while to get over the betrayal. I went from living with my family to living with my spouse–a total of 36 years. I needed to learn what I truly needed and wanted. And I did. Went a little bonkers, but eventually settled down and created a must-haves list for a life partner. And, by golly, right after that, I met my future husband.
    Looking back, I know that the ex and I were wrong for each other. Nothing could have saved that marriage. Do I wish I would have moved on earlier? Of course, but I refuse to spend time and energy looking back. It’s in the past, and I can’t change it. The experience gave me insight and empathy. I love my husband and we’ve been together 20 years.

  3. Cathleen Ross
    · September 8th, 2013 at 2:34 pm · Link

    Hi Sharon
    Thanks for stopping in. I’ve noticed in some marriages when the kids come that’s where the trouble starts because children take up so much time. With my dear friends, who stayed together, they had two years of counselling and really worked at it. With lots of kids she was too tired for sex and wanted more help with the kids. He wanted her and sex, lots of sex. When he couldn’t get that, he cheated with a woman who’d wanted him for a long time and was prepared to do anything to get him. I had to shut my mouth and just help out where I could. I never told her to divorce or not divorce. I was never mean to him but my clamped jaw must have told him how I was feeling. Actually I’m pretty proud of them that they got it together.
    Thanks for stopping by.

  4. Cathleen Ross
    · September 8th, 2013 at 2:41 pm · Link

    Hi Judy
    Thanks for stopping by and telling your story. I really believe there are some people who cheat their whole marriage and learn nothing from it. It amazes me how these people who cheat on each relationship can’t look at their own behaviour but are happy to blame it all on their spouse. I have some friends male and female, who behave in this manner. I admit, I have distanced myself from them because I’m disgusted. I was brought up with the whole Catholic virgin thing so I hear what you’re saying. Knowing when to stay and when to walk away is very difficult especially if you have a deep faith.
    Thanks again. Glad to hear you got a good one the second time around.

  5. M.A. Grant
    · September 8th, 2013 at 3:16 pm · Link

    I’ll admit, infidelity is one of those red lines for me. Part of this is due to my upbringing (Catholic), but also because I was fortunate to come from a family where the vows of marriage were treasured; I never imagined that people may not love their spouse enough to avoid causing that kind of pain. My husband and I have the same view on the subject; when we went through our marriage preparation, we were the only couple out of twenty-five that said we would not try to reconcile if the other was unfaithful. For me, no matter how much I loved him, it would be an issue of self-pride. I would never trust myself to correctly understand my self-worth again, and that doubt would cross over to all areas of my life. That said, I have great respect for couples who are able to reconcile and work through those issues, if it results in a stronger, safer marriage. They have an inner strength I lack.

  6. Cathleen Ross
    · September 8th, 2013 at 3:27 pm · Link

    Thanks for dropping in MA. The issue to walk away or not is deeply personal and I suspect some people only know the answer to that one when faced with the dilemma. If I’ve learned anything from it, it’s a rough journey though some people discover an inner strength.
    Thanks for leaving your opinion.

  7. Rachelle Lerner
    · September 8th, 2013 at 8:13 pm · Link

    I am married to a husband who does not cheat on me. I do know someone who is Catholic and married and had a child. Her husband had hit her when she was pregnant and the child had a tumor which was removed. She eventually filed for a Catholic annulment which was granted when she proved he had never wanted children. I do not know if she has re-married since as I have not seen her since my wedding.

  8. Cathleen Ross
    · September 9th, 2013 at 3:09 am · Link

    Nice to see some satisfaction Rachelle, especially your friend gaining the annulment. For committed Catholics, divorcing is very difficult especially for the people in their fifties and over who were a generation raised on guilt. I discuss guilt alot in Love, Lust and Lies.
    Thanks for dropping in.

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