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Archive for July 15th, 2013

Guest Blogger: Jennifer Kacey
Monday, July 15th, 2013

Safeword – When to say No

Most people these days, thanks to Fifty Shades and other books about BDSM, have heard the term safeword. It’s a word normally employed by a “bottom” or “submissive” to stop whatever scene, session or activity they are involved in. It can be a word like red, and for some it can be a sound, like snapping your fingers. Cause if you’ve got a gag in…well you get my point. J

When I write BDSM stories, all of my characters (so far) have used a safeword. I like the idea of having a word that will call a halt to everything happening around them. No matter how emotional a scene, or physically demanding the sex is, there’s a way for each of my submissives to get out.

Why do I give them a safeword?

So they don’t use it.

On the surface, a safeword is a get out of jail free card. Sometimes literally depending on how tied up one of my characters is. Using a safeword is the ultimate safety net, but the meaning behind it gives my subs complete power.  They can take, or refuse anything their Dom(s) demand. Being strong enough to accept it to me is uber sexy.

Submitting involves more trust than most people can even comprehend. It’s scary and exhilarating and will leave the characters floating in a sea of sensation so poignant they’re hooked from the words, “Give me your hands.”

Having a safeword to use allows my characters to believe they are safe, that they can enjoy the scene but stay removed enough not to fall into the rabbit hole of BDSM. If they’re with the right person, there won’t be any stopping the fall.

So why would someone use a safeword? They’re scared. Overwhelmed. In pain. Notice I put pain last. That wasn’t an oversight. Pain can heighten a scene. It’s a way for a Dom to hyper-focus their submissive on a certain part of their body. It can aid a submissive in switching off their brain, allowing them to feel each and every touch as if it would be their last.

Something a lot more of us could benefit from.

That connection.

BDSM allows you to sink below the surface of vanilla into flavor after flavor of naughty excitement meant to curl your toes and steal your voice.

I want my submissive characters to be strong, vivacious, intelligent people able to stand toe-to-toe with their Doms everywhere including the bedroom.

Tied to a whipping bench, strapped to a table, or even suspended from a steel a-frame using nothing more than 6mm silk rope. In all of these scenarios the sub still has the power.

The minute their safeword enters the room everything is over.

What I love about erotic BDSM romance is the physical, emotional and sometimes spiritual connection the characters have. It’s that connection during sex that sets my heart racing. Trusting their Dom that they know what they crave even if they don’t think they’re strong enough to endure.

What is the ultimate power exchange?

Having a safeword…and not using it.


Members Only, Book One

She knows it’s wrong. Cyn shouldn’t have feelings for fraternal twins Jared and Chris, her best friends. She shouldn’t want them to tie her up or strap her down, to take her one at a time—or together. The only way to control her taboo desires is to write them down and lock them away in her diary. Guys like Jared and Chris could never be interested in someone like her, or in the kind of sex she craves.

But Jared and Chris have read her diary, and sweet little Cyn is in for the shock of her life. The brothers not only own a members-only BDSM club, they want her. Need her. And now, with their unlimited funds and an entire establishment devoted to fulfilling her darkest pleasures, they’re going to claim Cyn for their own.

Inside Scoop: If you have a kink, this book probably has it too. If you like your ménage romances extra hot with a side of male-male romance, spanking, voyeurism and girl-on-girl action, come and get it.

A Romantica® BDSM erotic romance from Ellora’s Cave

Buy Links below and others on the TIC webpage

Amazon | Ellora’s Cave | Barnes and Noble

“So, Cyn, why aren’t you fucking anybody?”

I sucked a mouthful of beer down the wrong pipe, sputtered and coughed my way through it and nearly knocked over the glass bottle as I got it under control. The beer anyway. After wheezing through another breath, I moved my drink aside. The last thing I needed was a wet spot in my lap. “Where in the hell did that come from?” Read the rest of this entry »