Bestselling Author Delilah Devlin
HomeMeet Delilah
BookshelfBlogExtrasEditorial ServicesContactDelilah's Collections

Archive for December 7th, 2015

A. Catherine Noon: Bloody Mary Mix, a Holiday Parable or, How To Survive the Grocery Store on Black Friday
Monday, December 7th, 2015

acnACN-RW_SealedByMagic_coverlgFor many of us, the holidays are a time to reconnect with family, particularly if we don’t live near one another.  Our family is no exception to this, with folks scattered all over the States.  We were fortunate enough to be able to gather this Thanksgiving in Philadelphia and I couldn’t be happier.  It’s been a couple of holidays since I got to see everyone, and that made it even better.

It’s funny how moving and job churn can affect family time, isn’t it?

Well, okay, “funny” isn’t really the word, but I digress.

I got to connect with my sister-in-law, the lovely L…  She and I decided that we needed to make some cocktails and talked her husband into taking us to the grocery store.

On Black Friday.

Side note – I am not, in any way, shape, or form, a “shopper.”  In fact, I loathe the entire process and have been known to have anxiety attacks in front of the cucumber display.

Here, then, are some tips on surviving the market on days when every shopper, whether they like shopping or not, seems to decide simultaneously that they absolutely must try to disprove the law of physics that says two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

First, know what you want.  Wandering around the aisles to browse means that you will probably get run over by people like me who are panickedatthethoughtofbeinginthestorewithyouandjustwanttheirstuffthankx.

Second, leave the family confab at home.  Now is not the time to clog the aisle of the Bloody Mary Mix and try to work out the solution to Life, the Universe, and Everything.

Third, I love my brother-in-law.  But one bottle of Bloody Mary Mix isn’t enough for ME, let alone several of us.  Be prepared, Boy Scout.  Buy more than one.

Fourth, you put celery salt in Bloody Marys, according to the lovely L…  And yes.  It’s as good as it sounds.

Fifth, when you leave the grocery store parking lot, getting your mini-van turned perpendicularly to everyone else, and the flow of traffic, is dumb.  Don’t do that.  Any more.

Yes, lady, I’m looking at you.  You know who you are.

And sixth, if you absolutely must head out on Black Friday, take an awesome sister-in-law with you and come home with vodka to which you add stuff.  It’ll make you a whole lot calmer about this whole thing called shopping.

Now.  Where did I put the celery salt?

Question for you, Dear Reader:  what do you like in your Bloody Mary?  Or, if that’s not your poison, what’s your favorite cocktail?