Hey, I’ll admit it. Sex scenes are not my forte, but I had to up my heat level for Vexing Voss. I took a vow of celibacy when I was thirteen and pretty much suck at all the intimate details. You know? What goes where. Okay, you can stop laughing now. Geez. I may have exaggerated a tiny bit.
I saw my first naked guy in jail. No, I wasn’t arrested. I worked for the Glendale Police Department and part of my duties included prisoner checks. Yeah, that’s right. I had to go in the stinky cells and make sure every one of our “guests” were still breathing. So much fun. This moron had decided to stuff his pants down the toilet, and of course, he went commando. He turned and proudly displayed his Mister Dinky. I’m thinking, this is what all the fuss is about? Since the judge had a strict dress code in his court, numbnuts got to wear his water-soaked pants to his arraignment. Hey, we didn’t have jumpsuits back then.
Because of my lack of practical experience, I had to research what makes a smoking hot love scene. The local prostitutes were a bust. They took their johns into a cornfield. How romantic is that?
Luckily, I discovered my neighbors. Now when I need something new, all I have to do is go out in my backyard and wait. My neighbor and his current girlfriend are frisky in the pool. Their lusty screams set off every dog in the neighborhood, and I pick up pointers from their unusually athletic sexual positions. No, I am not a Peeping Tom. It’s research.
Voss, the Overlord’s Battle Commander, was determined to make Zoey his mate. She was equally determined it was never going to happen. When her clever disguises, skunk perfume, stun gun, smoke bombs, and tranquilizer darts failed to stop him, she was forced to negotiate her surrender.
Their mating scene had to be perfect. But how? Voss was one very frustrated male, and Zoey still mourned her lost love. Add in Voss’s unique man parts, and you’re heading for a disaster of epic proportions. I decided to use humor to defuse the situation.
“Wait! Can I see it first?”
Voss sat Zoey on the counter. “See it?”
“You know, your snake penis thingy.”
He stared at her for a long moment and then nodded. “Yes, you may examine my thingy.” He removed his weapons belt, boots, and battle suit.
Wowzers, he had one fine ass. Tight. Muscled.
His chest was so ripped, she wanted to lick every inch of it. Zoey’s eyes bugged out. Holy guacamole! A slit had opened in Voss’s abdomen, and out it slid. His penis was snakelike with a frill of tentacles around the top. Kinda freaky.
“Freaky?” The Battle Commander’s voice was a low growl.
Oh hell! Zoey had forgotten the cardinal rule. Never, ever make fun of a guy’s penis. “No need to get all snarky. I was just a little…uh…surprised. Can I touch it?”
“Yes.” The snake stopped, and the copper-colored frill opened and closed almost as if it was scenting the air.
For Voss, a Coletti Warlord, conquering the universe is a piece of cake. After all, he’s a master of psychic seduction; no one can resist him when he sets his mind to it.
Zoey Jones is determined to find her mother’s killer. Surrendering to a fierce Coletti warrior is the last thing on her mind. When Voss is determined to make Zoey his mate, she unleashes her own brand of whoop-ass to discourage his pursuit. When her clever disguises, skunk perfume, stun gun, and smoke bombs fail to stop the ruthless warlord, she’s forced to negotiate her surrender: she would mate with him if he would help her find her mother’s killer.
To Zoey’s surprise, Voss agrees, and the hunt is on. Their quest to bring the villain to justice leads to unlikely alliances in an interplanetary war, and more surprisingly, to love.