Monday, January 1st, 2024
Here’s wishing you all a productive, prosperous,
and above all, Happy New Year!
Archive for the 'General' Category
Here’s wishing you all a productive, prosperous,
Friday, December 29th, 2023
UPDATE: The winner is…BN!
*~*~*
The firstborn of Sylvanus and Anne Smith’s eleven children, Sarah was born on July 31, 1831, in the now historic Black Brooklyn neighborhood of Weeksville. Her father was one of Weeksville’s founders and one of the few black men who could vote because he had $250 in property. Both Sarah and her sister Susan were firsts in African American history in New York. Sarah became the first African American female to serve as a principal of a public school. Her sister Susan was the first African American female in New York State to receive a medical degree.
When Sarah was fourteen, she began her career as a teaching assistant. In 1854, she taught at the African Free School of Williamsburg (Brooklyn). By the time she retired from teaching in 1900, she served for thirty-seven years as a principal. First at Colored School No. 7 in Manhattan in 1863 then as principal for both Colored School No. 4 and Public School No. 80 in 1866. She used her position to help other African American women in the teaching profession. She signed a letter of support to the Board of Education on behalf of a teacher, Ms. G.F. Putnam, for her appointment to the position of Head of Department in Public School No. 83.
In addition to teaching, Sarah was an active suffragist. She founded the Equal Suffrage League in Brooklyn, the first suffrage club for African American women. She also headed the suffrage department of the National Association of Colored Women. Alva Vanderbilt Belmont reached out to Sarah in 1910 to see if African American women might be interested in joining her suffrage club, The Political Equality Association. The answer was no, as many white women’s suffrage movements did not focus on civil rights issues important to all African Americans, like lynching. In 1911, Sarah’s activism took her to England with her sister Susan to the first Universal Races Congress, where Susan delivered a paper on African American women.
It comes as no surprise that Sarah also had an entrepreneurial spirit. She owned and ran her own seamstress shop from 1883 to 1911.
Sarah married twice. First to Episcopal minister Samuel Thompson (often mistakenly cited as Tompkins) who died in 1852. They had one daughter who lived to adulthood. In 1875, she wed Presbyterian minister and abolitionist Henry Highland Garnet who died in 1882.
Sarah died at home in Brooklyn in 1911. Noted African Americans W.E.B. DuBois and Addie Waites Hunton spoke at her memorial service.
Having grown up in Brooklyn, I knew more about her sister Susan Smith McKinney, but Sarah’s pioneering work in the New York City public school system has gained prominence thanks to the HBO series The Gilded Age.
Too often the ordeal of slavery is the only lens through which African American history is seen. Sarah Smith Thompkins Garnet’s story shows how free blacks in the North used their own advocacy and agency to build resilient African American communities.
For a chance at a $10 Amazon gift card share your thoughts on Sarah’s life in the comments.
Better To Marry Than To Burn by Michal Scott
Wife Wanted: Marital relations as necessary. Love not required nor sought…
A bridal lottery seems the height of foolishness to ex-slave Caesar King, but his refusal to participate in the town council’s scheme places him in a bind. He has to get married to avoid paying a high residence fine or leave the Texas territory. After losing his wife in childbirth, Caesar isn’t ready for romance. A woman looking for a fresh start without any emotional strings is what he needs.
Queen Esther Payne, a freeborn black from Philadelphia, has been threatened by her family for her forward-thinking, independent ways. Her family insists she marry. Her escape comes in the form of an ad. If she must marry, it will be on her terms. But her first meeting with the sinfully hot farmer proves an exciting tussle of wills that stirs her physically, intellectually, and emotionally.
In the battle of sexual one-upmanship that ensues, both Caesar and Queen discover surrender can be as fulfilling as triumph.
Excerpt from Better to Marry than to Burn:
Of the men attending the meeting, thirty plunked down ten dollars for a chance at a wife. Twelve signed “I’m leaving” pledges. Caesar would do neither. His new beginning couldn’t be left up to chance, not now that staying took on a grander meaning.
Forty women arrived in June. Young, old, ex- slave and freeborn. Some widowed. Some with children. Some mere children themselves. Once introduced, each woman shared her hopes and wants. The lottery gave them three months to be courted and become brides or accept a return ticket back home. Moving as their stories were, Caesar knew he’d done right to go his own way. He’d advertised back East for a new wife. His ad, and to the point, stated his goal:
Freed man seeking woman to partner in marriage for at least two years in the black town of Douglass, Texas. Must be willing and able to help establish a legacy. Marital relations as necessary. Love neither required nor sought.
Only desperate females who couldn’t string two words together had answered. Not that he was looking for conversation, but he’d had a prize in his Emma and nothing less than another prize would do. Finally, he received a missive that gave him hope he’d found his match.
He’d held her envelope beside the flickering glow of a kerosene lamp and studied the handwriting. The elegant strokes bespoke education. The grade of paper used signaled either someone of means or at least someone intent on making a good impression. Two marks in her favor.
His eyebrows raised, however, as his gaze lingered over the Q imprinted in the wax seal holding the envelope shut. Another sign of quality…maybe too much quality. Why would a woman of obvious education and means be willing to brave the hardships of life out West as an ex-slave’s mail order bride?
Buy link: https://amzn.to/2KTaGPH
Thursday, December 28th, 2023
UPDATE: The winner is…Steph!
*~*~*
Every year, the top of my list of New Year’s Resolutions lists LOSE WEIGHT. I always start out like gangbusters but the allure of good food and convenience leads me into temptation. I think this year, I need new resolutions—fresh ones, reflecting more positivity, that I can embrace.
I thought it would be fun to share some of them in a word search. Maybe you can pluck a goal you’ll strive to achieve.
I decided that I miss writing letters, so that went on my list. Even if it’s just a postcard I paint and mail, I will scribble a letter to another human being.
I am overwhelmed with clutter, so I thought I might choose one surface a month to declutter—however small!
I am entering a No Spend January challenge, where I vow to not buy anything, online or in person, that isn’t a necessity. Not because I need to tighten my belt budget-wise, but to see if on-line shopping is an addiction, like my dd says it is. I love online shopping, but I’m curious to see how this challenge will work. Will I go into deep dark depression? Will I save tons of money? Will it spark creativity to make new stuff since I can’t buy new stuff?
My family is pretty adventurous with their food. We do seek out new recipes to try, but I want a more deliberate, try one new dish a month effort.
Those are just some of the things I want to try to make into a new habit or a worthwhile experiment.
Read through my list in the word search below. Solve the puzzle. Then add one thing you think others might want to add to their list of aspirational goals for the new year for a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card!
Thursday, December 21st, 2023
The winter solstice has arrived, and with it the shortest day of the year. Darkness comes early and stays late, but the tide is beginning to shift. This time of year can be hectic with holiday preparations—decorating, baking, shopping—not to mention the parties and get-togethers. So often, when the holidays arrive, many of us are too tired to enjoy it. We get crushed under the expectations—our own and those encouraged by the media. We feel that everything has to be perfect or that the holidays are ruined.
It doesn’t have to be that way. It shouldn’t be that way. Turn off the computer, put down the phone, and take some time to breathe. Go for a walk. If you walk in the evening, you can enjoy the festive lights. Sit in front of the tree and enjoy it. Watch a favorite holiday show with your family. Don’t let the season pass by in a blur. Being present is better than any store-bought gift you could give your loved ones.
Then there’s the financial stress the season often brings with it. There are many ways to enjoy the season without spending a ton of money. Call up your sister, mother, or friend and invite them over for tea or coffee or maybe an afternoon of holiday baking, sharing memories, and laughing together. The best part about the holidays is spending time with loved ones…and the food. Can’t forget the amazing food.
I recently spent a day with my brother and sister-in-law making homemade chocolates. It’s a tradition we carry over from our childhood, which makes it extra special. In the end, I had a tin of yummy chocolates, and they had a stack of tins they’ll give out to friends. Spending the day baking with friends and splitting the end results is not only fun but takes the pressure off everyone involved. Cookie swaps have become popular for this very reason. It’s a great excuse to socialize and you go home with a variety of cookies without having to bake them all yourself.
If you’re looking for a fast, easy, and delicious recipe, here’s one for fudge that my family has been making for at least sixty years, maybe longer.
Five Minute Fudge (From the Carnation Milk Cookbook)
2/3 cup of Carnation milk
1 2/3 cups of sugar~Bring sugar and milk to a boil and boil on low heat for 5 minutes. Stir constantly. Remove from heat.
Add:
1 ½ cups chocolate chips (I use semi-sweet dark chips)
1 ½ cups of plain mini marshmallows (I use Kraft minis)
1 tsp of vanilla flavouring~Stir until smooth and pour into greased 8” X 8” pan.
~Cool and cut into squares.
And if you’re looking for a calorie-free treat to help get you through the season, be sure to check out Taming the White Wolf, the first book in the Lone Wolf Legacy Trilogy.
Taming the White Wolf
Lone Wolf Legacy, Book 1
White wolf Devlin Moore has spent nearly the last century following his destiny: hunting rogue werewolves. His fate is to be the only one of his kind—hardened, feared, and brutally ruthless. Only now, Devlin’s not alone. There are two others. And if that wasn’t unsettling enough, Devlin is drawn to New York City for what appears to be a human…
As far as Devlin can tell, vibrant artist Zoe Galvani is no threat. But there’s something about her— from her unusual eyes that look similar to the same shocking hue as his own, to his growing need to mark her as his that suggests magical forces may be at play.
Now there’s no escaping each other, or the attraction that grows stronger by the second. But no one, especially a human woman, should have this effect on a lone wolf. And just when he’s sure that having her could be his undoing…the truth steps out of the shadows.
If you want to read more, you can find Taming the White Wolf here:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C7NTXG92/
Entangled Publishing: https://entangledpublishing.com/books/taming-the-white-wolf
B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/taming-the-white-wolf-n-j-walters/1143634327
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/taming-the-white-wolf
iBooks: https://books.apple.com/us/book/taming-the-white-wolf/id6450183902
About the Author
N.J. Walters is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author who has always been a voracious reader, and now she spends her days writing novels of her own. Vampires, werewolves, dragons, assassins, time-travelers, seductive handymen, and next-door neighbors with smoldering good looks—all vie for her attention. It’s a tough life, but someone’s got to live it.
Visit her at:
Website: http://www.njwalters.com
Blog: http://www.njwalters.blogspot.com
Newsletter Sign Up: http://eepurl.com/gdblg5
Facebook Author Page: https://www.facebook.com/N.J.WaltersAuthor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/njwaltersauthor
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/NJWalters
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/author/njwalters
BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/n-j-walters
Monday, December 18th, 2023
When I started writing my young adult contemporary Cecily Taylor Series, my plan was to take a high school girl and have all of her dreams come true and let her see the reality of it all; that means I’d show what it’s really like to date her favorite singer/songwriter and what it’s like to be a well-known actress/model. Sure, she experiences the euphoria, but there’s also the fact every little thing is scrutinized by strangers on the internet. Dealing with mean and deeply personal remarks in the comments section becomes a reality for Cecily in In Over Her Head: Lights, Camera, Anxiety. However, I wasn’t prepared for the flood of messages I got when I posted an excerpt from the book where Cecily reads the comments about herself after being in Andrew Holiday’s music video.
Here’s the excerpt from In Over Her Head: Lights, Camera, Anxiety:
It felt real, but can you date your teen idol? Is it even smart to? And why hadn’t he messaged me yet? I’m sure the plane had Wi-Fi. Other guys texted nonstop to the point of being annoying, yet my phone was silent.
“Maybe. It was just nice to see someone being authentic,” I said.
“It would have been awful if he was fake—can you imagine?” she asked. “Honestly, when you said he was just like how he comes across in interviews—I did jumpy claps. Not gonna lie, it made me look like a toddler who just saw ice cream.”
“Yeah, he seems like the real deal, don’t you think?”
“Mm-hmm,” she said distractedly as she tried to find a place to park. “Must be nice to have a hot pop star text you. Do you think he will contact you again?”
If he doesn’t, then I’ll die and probably never leave my room again. “I hope he does. I’d be seriously bummed if I—” Get phone dumped, get blocked online, see he’s dating someone else. “Don’t hear from him again.”
“Does anyone else know he was the reason Zach got so mad at you when he walked in on Andrew trying to kiss you at the video premiere?”
“No, Zach didn’t tell anyone. I feel like it’d be weird if I told people that’s what happened. Like they wouldn’t believe me and think I was making it up to get attention,” I said.
“Yeah, I already heard a few people saying stuff.”
My stomach dropped. “Like what?”
“Huh? Oh…nothing major.” She gripped the steering wheel. “It’s impossible to find a spot on the street on a weekend.”
I pressed her again, and she shrugged.
“There’s a couple comments on his social media pages.”
Pulling out my phone, I went to the video’s link online and the first comment that came up was:
NoOneAndrewFan: Why did they pick HER out of all the girls in the world?
CaliGirlTwo: They couldn’t find any better than that chick?
Holidate008: She’s like if the word “plain,” was a person.
MusicIsLife: I think the point is that she’s not supposed to be hot, you guys
Holidate008: I think she’s supposed to be the opposite of that other girl in the video.
CaliGirlTwo: Obviously Andrew has a jealous girlfriend and told him to find blah girls to be in his video.
SleepAllDayz: I bet Andrew’s managers don’t want his fans to be jealous of any of the girls they cast in his videos. Mission accomplished.
Meghynn: Seriously, I’ve seen cuter girls walking down my street and I live out in the sticks.
KellyKellz: I bet the other actress said they couldn’t cast another hot girl.
Meghynn: Andrew obviously didn’t do the casting for this one.
Holidateforever: Wow! Seems like no one has anything nice to say, all you guys want to do is trash people. if you don’t like what Andrew’s doing in his video… then bye!
TeenaRoger: Guys, Andrew would hate all these negative vibes! If you don’t have anything good to say about his work then don’t follow his page, don’t listen to his music, and DON’T bother commenting.
Holidateforever: I think she’s pretty. Jealousy isn’t cute, you guys.
“Oh crap. I didn’t even think to look at the comments before now. I guess it was so surreal to think I was actually in a music video that it didn’t even occur to me to go on and see what people were saying,” I said as my face burned with embarrassment. “Has everyone at school seen these?”
“Don’t worry about it. People suck and if it makes you feel any better, a lot of people at school aren’t even talking about it because they don’t want you to get all stuck up,” she said.
That was supposed to make me feel better?
“I was barely in the video. Why is everyone attacking me for a five second spot?” I asked trying to keep myself from crying.
“It sucks. I wish Andrew was here and he could just wrap you in a blanket and make you a cup of tea,” Lila said.
I laughed despite the fact I was trying not to throw up on myself. “Yup, like the perfect boyfriend.”
***
Right after that excerpt was posted on a book tour, my messages went crazy with people sharing their own experiences of dealing with mean comments online. Everyone from teens to adults to people in the public eye shared how this scene made them feel. However, I also had people who hadn’t experienced it, but had a family member who was hoping to become well-known or famous (either with singing, acting, modeling, and podcasting or as an influencer, etc.), and this scene made them rethink everything.
The scary thing about this scene for me is the fact it was inspired by a real comment I saw on posted under a singer’s video. It stood out to me as the person didn’t think the actress in the video was attractive enough to be “worthy” of being in the music video of this particular pop star. It struck me that this person was putting this comment out on a very public site for everyone to see and that there was a chance the actress herself could see it. I know some people have thick skin and don’t let things like that bother them, but there’s also something to be said about the old saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
It also made me think about other people reading the comment and if they’d look at the actress and compare themselves, and then walk away feeling self-conscious about their own appearances. Social media can be fun and informative, but it can also be toxic and it would help us all if we were more mindful about what we posted and read online.
I would love to know your thoughts on toxic social media comments. Please leave them below. I will leave you with this Bernard Meltzer quote: “Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.”
Pick up a copy of the book here. It’s free in Kindle Unlimited:
Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Over-Her-Head-Lights-Anxiety-ebook/dp/B09WZV4P3P
Amazon CAN: https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B09WZV4P3P
Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B09WZV4P3P
About the Author
Krysten Lindsay Hager is a bestselling author of young adult, middle grade, and contemporary romance. Krysten writes because she loves bringing people swoony moments & hope-filled happily ever afters. Her books are known for making you feel all the feels.
Website: https://www.krystenlindsay.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/krystenlindsay/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/krystenlindsay/
Friday, December 15th, 2023
If you read the title and thought I was speaking of all the holiday rubbish that no one needs or ever asked for being sold by department stores and online, I’d say that is a pretty good guess. However, it’s incorrect. The holiday crud I’m referring to is bodily sickness.
Several years ago, I began to recognize a pattern in myself of becoming sick on Christmas Day or shortly after that. Initially, I thought it might have been some psychosomatic way to avoid those family members I didn’t wish to interact with. While this was a convenient offshoot, it wasn’t the reason it manifested.
After brief introspection and evaluation of circumstances, I quickly realized my very real illness was a byproduct of stress. Mentally, I would compile anxiety regarding creating a wonderful Christmas experience for everyone. This included everything from preparing holiday snacks to cooking to cleaning and preparing my home for visitors to decorating (interior and exterior) to purchasing the perfect gift. I had addresses to collect for all the Christmas cards to mail, outfits to assemble for events, and hair and nail appointments to look my best on the big day. In truth, I didn’t give two wooden nickels about the majority of these things. I only cared because others told me I should—others expected it of me. Left alone, I would have made it a PJ and given heartfelt, sappy homemade gifts as seen on Hallmark holiday movies. However, that wasn’t the kind of environment I was raised in. Sadly, much emphasis was placed on material items and public/social appearances. Thus, I would do my best to meet these expectations.
Begin Phase Two.
To accomplish these numerous tasks, I would run myself ragged and jump through a football field of burning hoops. Store after store, I would walk until I felt my arches falling. My eyeballs would bulge and water from scanning the internet. My head would ache from gift wrapping. (How many times can a roll of tape be lost in one sitting? And why is it so difficult to find the correct size box?) My muscles screamed at me from scrubbing. None of these things I found fun or rewarding. And by the time Christmas arrived, all I felt was tired and relieved. This is when I both mentally and physically would crash. My body responded the only way it knew, and that usually was with some type of respiratory illness.
Some family members would accuse me of faking sick by drumming it up all in my mind. “Oh, she’s not really ill. She’s just being lazy,” some would whisper. I didn’t know laziness came with fevers and congestion and lasted a week. Apparently, my wallet didn’t know it, either, when I had to pay for after-hours clinic care. And also, I apparently was good at tricking medical staff into hearing congestion in my chest and giving me diagnoses (e.g., pharyngitis, strep throat, and the flu). Then, one year, a physician informed me that my immune system was pretty crappy, and he suspected that when stressed, I would weaken it so much that it could not fight off infection. As a result, I was catching anything airborne that blew in my direction. He suggested that I should do less over the holidays and allow myself more time to rest.
Of course, I didn’t listen, at first, until one year I became especially ill. Actually, it wasn’t the illness that did me in. It was the nonproductive cough that lingered for weeks after. It was so deep that I felt I had swallowed a box of matches with each breath. I literally walked around clutching my chest like Fred G. Sanford. During the day it was bad, but at night, it became unbearable. Well, I learned my lesson.
The following year, I decided to take heed and began holiday preparations early. Instead of sorting through Christmas cards and trying to best match the design and card to each person, I purchased a box of assorted designs from the dollar store and randomly added the names. I cut the amount of Christmas treats I made in half, only decorated the interior, and put a time limit on the time I spent gift shopping. I still ended up getting sick that year but not nearly as severe as previous years.
I thought I was alone in this until recently when I was having lunch with a group of friends and the topic came up. Being who I am, after the discussion, I began researching, and this phenomenon isn’t uncommon.
- Exposure to large crowds while shopping and traveling. Viruses and bacteria can loom anywhere. However, the body is amazing. When we are exposed to some conditions long enough, we build up a tolerance or immunity to it. But when we travel or in large crowds, we are subjected new viruses and bacteria. Thus, the probability of contracting an airborne illness or a germ from an infected surface increases. If avoiding crowds isn’t something that you can or want to do, you may want to avoid people who are visibly sick or touch surfaces that are known to have not been cleaned.
- Forgetting to wash hands. How many surfaces do we touch when in public (e.g., opening doors, removing items from shelves, handshaking, etc.)? This act can transfer germs from a surface onto our hands. Then, without thinking, we may touch our mouth, eyes, or nose—increasing the probability of making us sick. Now, let’s be clear. Will failing to wash one’s hands after touching a public surface always result in illness? No. In fact, I don’t know scientific odds for that. But can it happen? Yes. Does it sometimes happen? Yes. Does handwashing help prevent it? Yes.
- A frequent change in temperature. When researching, the information found listed this as going from inside to outside. However, I’m going to take this a step further and go out on a limb to include something that isn’t research-based. I live in the deep south, and anyone in this area can tell you it’s like a Heidi Klum Project Runway intro: One day you’re in a sauna. The next day you’re out on a witch’s boobie. Mother Nature is a bipolar roller coaster. It has literally snowed on day, and the next shot up into the 80s. Mostly, it is warm, but when the temps get to bouncing, noses get to running. There’s not much one can do about Mother Nature’s fluctuation but dressing appropriately to maintain a constant body temp from one setting to the next helps.
- Lack of sleep. This one is easy. Being well rested can help stave off illness.
- Reduce stress. Give yourself the grace to not have to do it all during the holidays. When possible, delegate tasks to people you trust and know will get the job done. Simplify tasks (e.g., purchasing prewrapped gifts, doing meal prep in advance, reducing number of purchases, etc.). Every little bit helps.
