Several years ago, I receive a digital camera for Christmas. I had no idea how to adjust the settings, so I kept the camera on auto. A couple of photographers, plus a night class at a local college, helped me understand a bit more about using my camera, a Canon SX60HS, but I admit having a long way to go. One thing that I have learned is the composition of the photo is as important the correct settings.
Though I had zero knowledge when I began taking photos, I did have a background in art; I can draw and paint. So, when I look through the viewer, I try to create a ‘painting’ through the lens. This has me trying to find a background that will compliment the subject, or make it stand out in a unique way.
For example, if I’m taking a picture of a bird and it’s late in the day, I’ll shift my camera so that I have shadows behind the subject, which makes it stand out, and in a sense ‘frames it.’ When the background is brighter than the subject, I use the ‘backlighting’ to create an interesting picture.
Another thing I’ve learned is when taking a photo of a vibrant subject, like a skipper on a Black-Eyed Susan, I angle the camera so that I have a solid background which keeps the focus on the subject.
I also love taking photos of birds, bees, and bugs. When you zoom in, which is a fun challenge as often your subject decides to move, I’m amazed at the micro-detail. The trick I’ve learned is if the subject moves, take a lot of pictures. Digital cameras are forgiving, and any unwanted pictures are easily deleted.
I hope you’ve found my tips helpful, and I want to thank Lyn Washington who asked me to write this blog about how I take photos. My favorite advice, when you’re taking pictures, have fun!
About the Author
A retired Navy Chief, Diana Cosby is an international bestselling author of Scottish medieval romantic suspense. Books in her award-winning MacGruder Brothers series have been translated in five languages. Diana has spoken at the Library of Congress, Lady Jane’s Salon in NYC, and appeared in Woman’s Day, on USA Today’s romance blog, “Happy Ever After,” MSN.com, Atlantic County Women Magazine, and Texoma Living Magazine.
After her career in the Navy, Diana dove into her passion – writing romance novels. With 34 moves behind her, she was anxious to create characters who reflected the amazing cultures and people she’s met throughout the world. After the release of the bestselling MacGruder Brothers series, The Oath Trilogy, and the first two book of The Forbidden Series, she’s now working on book #4, Forbidden Realm, of the five book series, which will be released August, 6th, 2019.
Diana looks forward to the years of writing ahead and meeting the amazing people who will share this journey.
Contest
***ONE winner will be drawn from everyone who posts on my guest blog post about photography on Delilah’s blog between 11 November 2018 – 17 November 2018. The winner will receive one of Diana’s mugs and a tote.
Hi! I’m new here, so don’t mind me as I get comfortable. I have recently hired an assistant, and what a God send. However, I’m still doing things last minute as I do my day job (editing) while trying to meet writing deadlines…and that doesn’t count family time!
I recently had a close brush with death (mid October). I have asthma. I had an attack. I was alone and losing consciousness. My daughter messaged me until I answered. Then, when I started losing consciousness again, a friend called and kept me awake until I made it to the hospital. I was disoriented. Had no idea where I was… Still not sure how I made it to the hospital.
Life is precious. Don’t forget that in the midst of daily life.
I’m a writer, painter, editor, et al. I write everything from urban fantasy zombies to romance with happily ever after. My latest few stories have had magic in them. And Scotland. And Highlands. I am sensing a theme here. But what does it have to do with the aforementioned asthma attack?
I realized how badly I wanted to make it as a writer. I mean, I sort of knew that already, but it remained after the life changing moment. That writing really is important to me. More time hugging my kids. Check. More time talking to friends. Check. And more writing… Not so check. It is November. To me, it starts the magical holiday season. (Honestly, I am not sure why I don’t have more Christmas stories out!) So, I need to remember the simple magic of being alive and following my dreams.
My recent brush has helped me keep on track for my dreams, even as my personal life is falling apart and this will be one of the worst Christmases I have ever lived through. I have hope and belief that this trial will leave me out on the other end better and more powerful as a creator.
So, in writing a story, I’m terribly mean to my characters. It’s a great way to work through a little angst in your life. I put them through things to make them stronger. To give them character and dimension, and plus, it has the added benefit of making things more fun to read. Hmmm…. Maybe I should be a little nicer to them?
Nah. *grin*
Even in the “light hearted” tale I recently released (Enduring Legacy series, each book can be read alone), erm… I may have killed off a few people. *shifty eyes*
Christmas makes me smile. I want to bake and cook and craft to my heart’s content. I like to curl up with a good book, drink coffee or hot chocolate, and gaze out on the snow. I don’t get as much time to do that as I like. It may be time to make it a priority again.
What are your favorite books to read during the holidays? Your favorite place?
USA Today bestselling author Leona Bushman is a crazy writer taught by dragons and known as Dragon Queen of the North. She loves to write and paint, even when her muse tries to muck things up. She chases after the three out of the five children still at home, and sometimes after the other two and the grandbaby around her freelance editing jobs. She has many hobbies like SCA, painting, quilting, sewing, and gardening. Or, as one blogger succinctly put it, Leona Bushman is a whirlwind made of sheer will with a dash of clumsy to keep her grounded.
She can be found solving mysteries, exploring space, making art, and loving dragons and other creatures of the supernatural at these places:
I frequently post under the hashtags #thenextleonardodavinci and #thenextleonardodavinciandson
Also available by Leona Bushman (romance): The Ulfric’s Mate, book 1 (War of the Weres series)
The Midwife’s Moon, book 2 (War of the Weres series)
Bearly There, book 1 (War of the Weres Chronicles)
Fox in the Wolf Den, book 2 (War of the Weres Chronicles)
Pirating Christmas
The Shot, book 2(Traincoach of Death series)
Luck of the Draw
Winds of Fire (Eagle Claw series)
Murder by Succubus
Magic and Weres (anthology)
Masked Pain
Over a Dead Body
Slow Fever
Darkest Death, book 1 (Darkest Series)
In for a Penny, book 1(Traincoach of Death series)
Highland Magic, book 1 (Highland Magic series)
A Hunter, a Witch, and a Shrew
Also available by Leona Bushman
writing as LJ Bushman (non romance): Demons and Wraiths
Death’s Car
The Fight of the Sorceress
Zombie Infestation
Cerisa’s Quest, book 1 Quest of Riverhand
Coming Soon: Darkest Death, book 2 (Darkest Series)
The Panther’s Hunter, book 3 (War of the Weres series)
Evil in the Highlands, book 2 (Highland Magic)
It took me a day or two longer, wrestling with Amazon, to get Lockdown released! But it’s here! If you love a naughty paranormal with a touch of horror (promise it’s not too much!) and a dose of ménage (verra, verra sexy!), this one’s for you! If you’d like to read an excerpt, check out this previous post! And yes, the contest is still open, so be sure to enter! Pre-order Woes… (Contest)
Lockdown
After surviving an attack by a prisoner, corrections officer Gillian Priest arrives at her new unit, determined not to ever let her guard down again. Things get complicated when a handsome new prisoner enters her dreams and seduces her. When fellow officer Billy Hedron makes a pass, she’s already primed, ready to ease the arousal her sexy dreams have left with a more appropriate mate.
Billy Hedron knows his old Marine buddy Gabriel Vlahos is posing as a prisoner to find a demon within the prison walls, and who better to hunt one than an incubus? When his buddy seduces Gillian in her dreams, Billy stands ready to serve the needs his friend stirs up in the attractive woman. But things take a deadly turn when the demon they seek decides it’s time to take them all to hell.
When police officer Sinead O’Rourke returns to duty months after being shot in an incident that claimed her partner, she knows it’s not going to be easy. Despite being cleared of any negligence, her fellow officers still wonder whether she’s responsible for his death. One more problem is that everyone knows she claims to have seen his ghost. After months of rehabilitation and lying like hell about the fact she’s not seeing spooks anymore, Sin’s determined to get back into the saddle.
Jake Chappa doesn’t want to partner with Sin. Been there, done that–couldn’t keep his hands off her the first time around. She’s too much of a distraction, and her penchant for rushing into trouble scares the heck out of him. Despite wishing she’d quit her job, he’s still deeply attracted. When an armed robbery goes down and something happens that rattles Sin to the core, he’s right there–ready to cover her back and her sweet body.
Win a $5 Amazon gift card! All you have to do is tell me whether you’re reading this blog on your phone, desktop, or laptop!
*~*~*
Okay, so the cover is interesting. Not great, but you’d never guess how hard it is to find sexy “prison” photos. Lockdown is the second in the Veiled Alliance series, and is a re-release, but I’m betting hardly anyone has read it, am I right?
I’ll be uploading it into Amazon tomorrow, because I want to make sure it’s available on Tuesday, its official release date. I would have set it up for you to pre-order a long time ago, but alas, I’ve lost my pre-order rights until September of next year. Yeah, makes me cry. Things like having your dad fall and break his hip and have to have surgery in a far-flung place, and then going to rehab, all of which puts a huge dent in a writer’s writing schedule, aren’t good enough excuses. Especially after I had to slide a release date earlier this year due to my grandmother’s death. I’m thinking Amazon considers that a “the dog ate my homework” kind of excuse. So, I lost my privilege.
Which causes all kinds of difficulties for an author when she’s trying to get the word out. Everything waits until release date. Still, I figure you might want to know whether this is something you should mark on your calendar to get. So, do you like paranormal stories? Like a bit of horror thrown in? Love uber-sexy scenes, some threesomes, with human and otherkin partners? Well, maybe, just maybe, you’ll want to mark down this one. TUESDAY, folks! If not sooner. 🙂
Here’s a snippet…
After surviving an attack by a prisoner, corrections officer Gillian Priest arrives at her new unit, determined not to ever let her guard down again. Things get complicated when a handsome new prisoner enters her dreams and seduces her. When fellow officer Billy Hedron makes a pass, she’s already primed, ready to ease the arousal her sexy dreams have left with a more appropriate mate.
Billy Hedron knows his old Marine buddy Gabriel Vlahos is posing as a prisoner to find a demon within the prison walls, and who better to hunt one than an incubus? When his buddy seduces Gillian in her dreams, Billy stands ready to serve the needs his friend stirs up in the attractive woman. But things take a deadly turn when the demon they seek decides it’s time to take them all to hell.
Gillian blinked when he first appeared. She’d been sitting on the porch of her family’s cabin at Canyon Lake, Texas on a hot summer’s day. Nothing to think about except how much she missed this place.
Only she’d been alone. Her sister didn’t play on the edge of the water. Her brother wasn’t casting a line into the water, hoping to catch supper. Her mother and father weren’t in the hammocks strung beneath the live oaks, laughing softly to themselves.
And yet, she’d felt peaceful.
What the hell was Vlahos doing in her dream? He stood at the bottom of the steps. His smile was slow.
“It’s not fair you look so damn good,” she groused. God, had she just said that out loud?
“It’s a dream,” he said, climbing the porch steps. “No place for secrets here.” He turned toward the lake, his gaze scanning his surroundings.
“It’s nice.”
He didn’t belong here. Not in her special place. “I don’t want you here. You’re strictly off limits.”
He unbuttoned his coverall and pushed it down his legs. The boxers beneath quickly followed.
Gillian’s chest lifted around a swift gasp. His body was perfectly formed—broad shoulders, lean abdomen, chiseled cuts bisecting the muscle layered down his belly in perfect rows. His cock was gorgeous as well. Long and straight with a pretty tapered crown. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Getting comfortable. Preparing to give you what we both need.”
“I don’t need to see you naked,” she said huffily.
“Then close your eyes.”
“As if. You’re a murderer.”
His lips curled in that feline smile of his. “Things aren’t always what they seem. And this is only a dream.”
“I suppose you’re innocent,” she said, her voice catching.
His head canted, and he sat on the wooden step beside her. “That didn’t sound like sarcasm. That was pain.”
She shook her head. “It’s none of your goddamn business.”
“And I don’t really have the time. But hold that thought. Pain works for me, too.”
“What are you talking about?” she said, growing alarmed at his mention of pain.
He turned suddenly, his hands coming down on either side of her, his body rising over hers and pressing her to the porch floor. Her hands came up between them. “Get off me.”
“Do you really want me to? Don’t you want to see whether you can orgasm inside a dream? Have you done it before?”
“I usually wake up,” she said, then groaned at admitting something so personal.
“What if I promise it won’t happen this time.”
“You’re still a goddamn convict. I shouldn’t be with you, even if this is just a dream. I don’t want you in my head.”
“Then find someone else to fuck when you’re awake. Right now, I need you every bit as much as you need this. So, just shut up.”
His lips slammed into hers, grinding the soft tissue inside against her teeth. She tasted blood.
Some dream.
But that was all it was. A dream. She could do this. Follow it wherever it led, and no one would ever know.
“That’s right,” he said, lifting his mouth from hers. “Just you and me.”
Gillian looked up at him, at the need stretching his skin tautly across his sharp cheekbones and lending a harsh edge to his solid jaw. At the tension in his shoulders and arms as he held himself. Waiting.
For her to accept this? For her to give him permission to proceed. “I don’t like that you can see inside my mind.”
“I won’t do anything you don’t want,” he said softly. “From here on out.”
“Why do you need this so badly?”
“I feel your hunger, your loneliness—your pain. I don’t know where it comes from, but I need it to fill me.”
“Why?”
“Because I need emotion to sustain me. Bad times are coming. I have to be strong.”
“What about me, and what I need?” she whispered harshly. “This is my dream, my body, you’re getting ready to take.”
“You’ve already thought ahead to what will happen?”
“I know I want to you to fuck me. See if it’s possible to do what you said.”
“Come inside your dream?”
She almost smiled as his lips curled, lending his hard features a surprisingly whimsical expression.
“Tomorrow,” he said, leaning down to press a quick kiss to her forehead, “you’ll watch me and feel a little nostalgic, a little sad that this didn’t really happen.”
“Tomorrow, when I watch you shower,” she bit out, “I’ll probably be disappointed that I didn’t get the details right.”
His eyebrows lifted. “And maybe you won’t.”
Needing to erect an emotional barrier between them, she lifted her chin. “I have my eye on another man. Someone more suitable.”
“Hedron?”
She wasn’t surprised this time that he’d guessed so accurately. He was just an extension of her subconscious after all. “Yes. And he’s built like a goddamn bull.”
One side of his mouth quirked upward. “Trying to make me jealous?”
“Is it working?”
“Yes. Now, shut up.” His hands gripped the edges of her sleeveless cotton blouse and ripped it open.
She jerked against him but stopped trying to fight him. When his hands tugged her shorts down her hips, and the lacy scrap that passed for underwear with it, she mewled.
Then he was on her, inside her, shoving his perfect cock deep. She was already hurtling high and hoping like hell the phone wouldn’t ring and pull her away, because she thought that just maybe he’d do it. Bring her body to orgasm.
But suddenly, something else started to happen inside her. Something that sucked away her breath, her will, left her quivering and shaken because she couldn’t break free of the grip of whatever it was thrusting straight inside her chest and mind. But the pressure in her chest couldn’t compete with his luscious assault further down her body.
*~*~*
And if you haven’t read the first story, check it out!
When police officer Sinead O’Rourke returns to duty months after being shot in an incident that claimed her partner, she knows it’s not going to be easy. Despite being cleared of any negligence, her fellow officers still wonder whether she’s responsible for his death. One more problem is that everyone knows she claims to have seen his ghost. After months of rehabilitation and lying like hell about the fact she’s not seeing spooks anymore, Sin’s determined to get back into the saddle.
Jake Chappa doesn’t want to partner with Sin. Been there, done that–couldn’t keep his hands off her the first time around. She’s too much of a distraction, and her penchant for rushing into trouble scares the heck out of him. Despite wishing she’d quit her job, he’s still deeply attracted. When an armed robbery goes down and something happens that rattles Sin to the core, he’s right there–ready to cover her back and her sweet body.
Is the pic festive enough? I love busy images, so this one’s fun for me! Halloween is our family’s favorite holiday. We go all out with costumes. And then we make a mad dash around the surrounding area, looking for fun, kid-friendly trick-or-treat parties. And then, there are the photos. We take them every year. These are a few of my favorites…
I think the 5-year-old was 2 when this was taken. She was already great with the camera. She still loves getting into character.
Here’s the pic of all the kids, taken in the front yard. We’d had hay delivered for the horses…
This was a couple of years ago. Note the werewolf in the wheelchair. We took the photo in front of the town’s cemetery gates…
There’s an “extra” kid in the mix in a ninja outfit. My dd tends to gather kids for these events. This year, we’re taking the van and an extra car to ferry everyone around. I’m not 100% sure I’m going. I had a late night. But I’ll try to get a nap, because I’d hate to miss the fun!
Contest
For a chance to win a $5 Amazon gift card,
tell me what your Halloween plans are!
Oops! Adding one more fave! The 14-year-old way back when. She went as an Aztec princess…
It’s the holidays again, an emotion-filled time where it seems there are not enough hours in each day to fit everything in. In this busy time, I ask each of you to please consider one more stop on your crazy to do list, that of making a donation to a local food bank. Your donation can be a dollar, a can of food, whatever you can give. With the hurricanes, fires, and flooding that have affected so many this year, anything you can offer is a gift to those working to rebuild their lives.
I volunteer for Habitat For Humanity, and something amazing happens when you allow a person a flicker of hope, that somehow, incredibly, even a stranger understands that at times life shoves us on a road we never asked for.
Several years ago, in addition to my personal donation to my local food bank, I decided to start a Food Bank Challenge. Except, it kind of wonderfully got out of hand. Amazingly, once I posted The Food Bank Challenge on my Facebook page and my Facebook reader page, people from across the U.S. began donating to their local food banks and sharing on my Food Bank Challenge post. Then, I read posts of donations from Canada. Holy cow, the Food Bank Challenge had gone international! And you know what, this is truly a blessing. In this venture, we all win. Gifts from the heart do that, they fill you, remind you there is good in the world, and that you can make a positive as profound difference in others lives.
On December 5th, 2018, ONE name will be drawn from all who posted that they donated to a food bank from both my Facebook page and Facebook Author pages that I received. The winner will receive a mug, and a tote bag.
*Note: Names of those who posted beneath my Facebook pages drive post that they gave to food pantries or groups accepting donations to donate to a food bank will be entered in the drawing.
I wish each of you a wonderful holiday season filled with friendship and laughter and blessings!
Diana Cosby, AGC(AW), USN Ret.
International Best-Selling Author
www.dianacosby.com The Oath Trilogy MacGruder Brother Series Forbidden Series: Forbidden Legacy/Forbidden Knight/Forbidden Vow/Forbidden Alliance‒Aug. 6th 2019/Forbidden Realm TBA
About the Author
A retired Navy Chief, Diana Cosby is an international bestselling author of Scottish medieval romantic suspense. Books in her award-winning MacGruder Brothers series have been translated in five languages. Diana has spoken at the Library of Congress, Lady Jane’s Salon in NYC, and appeared in Woman’s Day, on USA Today’s romance blog, “Happy Ever After,” MSN.com, Atlantic County Women Magazine, and Texoma Living Magazine.
After her career in the Navy, Diana dove into her passion – writing romance novels. With 34 moves behind her, she was anxious to create characters who reflected the amazing cultures and people she’s met throughout the world. After the release of the bestselling MacGruder Brothers series, The Oath Trilogy, and the first three books of The Forbidden Series, she’s now working on book #4, Forbidden Alliance, of the five-book series, which will be released August 6th, 2019.
Diana looks forward to the years of writing ahead and meeting the amazing people who will share this journey. www.dianacosby.com
Call for Short Story Submissions! (Click on picture to learn more!) Deadline November 15th!
A Sexy Excerpt!
The walk to her bedroom was as slow as she could manage. She didn’t want him knowing how badly she wanted this. He’d think her completely desperate.
But when she crossed the threshold, he was already stripping. Just as eager, just as breathless as she was.
The sight of his bared chest left her gasping. Wide-set shoulders with thick mounds of muscle on top and at the corners of his shoulders.
Breasts bulging, rippling as he flexed involuntarily with the clenching of his fists. “You sure about this?”
Maybe he asked because she’d halted, and her mouth was hanging open. She toed off her shoes, stripped her tight tee over her head and unclasped her sports bra before she looked at him again. A good thing, because he was naked, and the lower half of him was equally ripped, equally breath-stealing. His huge, ridged cock made her mouth water.
It turned upward, as thick and imposing as the rest of him. She couldn’t wait to feel the pinch of his girth stretching her from the inside as he crammed inside her. But first, he rolled a condom down his length.
She shoved down her shorts and briefs and headed straight for the bed, pulling back the coverlet and exposing the clean sheets she’d swapped for the drenched set she’d woken in earlier.
Here was a more appropriate, licentious fuck. She didn’t have to feel guilty about wanting it. Didn’t have to worry about losing everything she valued, including herself respect. She climbed onto the bed, knowing he was staring at her ass and rolled to her back, before slowly spreading her legs in invitation.
A low groan, sounding more like an animalistic growl, rumbled from him, and she smiled and reached down to trace the edges of her folds.
He stomped forward, staring down at her sex, then gripped her ankles hard and pulled her toward the edge of the bed. When her legs draped over it, dangling toward the floor, he knelt between her thighs, spread her with his fingers, and bent to run his tongue along her damp slit.
Gillian closed her eyes on a sigh and lifted her legs over his broad shoulders, snuggling her bottom closer the end of the bed as he continued to lick and suck, his teeth capturing an inner fold and nibbling on it for a moment before his tongue stroked into her entrance and swirled.
She moaned, and her chest rose faster with her labored breaths. Like she’d run miles. When fingers joined the teasing strokes, she heard the wet sounds as her inner lips clasped moistly around his thick fingers, and then she smiled because he burrowed deeper at her body’s lewd invitation, pumping inside her, stretching her with a third, and then a fourth finger.
When his lips latched onto her clit, she couldn’t suppress the cry he surprised from her. Thick digits continued to sink inside her, stretching her, making her pussy pulse as she began to undulate her hips, climbing toward the apex.
But then he pulled out of her and backed away, abandoning her when she’d been ready to let go. He gripped her hips hard and shoved her up the bed. His knees landed on the mattress between her spread legs, and she lifted them high, but he nudged her bottom roughly to scoot her higher. When he was satisfied, he grabbed her legs and urged them around his hips, then prodded her sex with the blunt, round head of his cock. His gaze locked with hers, his hands flattened on the mattress beside her shoulders. When he had her undivided attention, he took a deep breath and stroked deep.
She was wet, ready, but not prepared for his size. She cried out, and then bit her lip, not wanting him to stop or even slow the forceful motions that thrust his cock deeper and deeper into her body, until his balls slapped her tender perineum.
There was nothing smooth, nothing easy about the way he made love. He powered into her, grunting at the end of each thrust, forcing an equally unfeminine grunt from her lips that pleased her primitive, primal core.
She’d feel bruised, sore, used when he was done, but satisfied like she’d never been before.
Her arms wound around his shoulders, and she pressed her cheek against his hot throat, feeling tears leak from between her tightly squeezed eyelids. She didn’t know why she cried, but he forced powerful emotions from her just as he forcefully, brutally took her body.
Her bed thudded heavy against the wall, the sound pulling her away, giving her something else to think about rather than how shattered she felt, and she laid back her head, opening her eyes to meet his fierce gaze.
“Did I hurt you?” he growled.
“Yes. Please don’t stop.”
A gust of laughter shook his chest, and he hiked her legs higher around his waist and slammed harder, his strokes shortening, quickening.
She couldn’t catch her breath. And she was quickly flying apart. She raked her fingers down either side of his spine, digging deep.
He grunted again, gathered his knees closer to her, laying his chest on top of hers and resting his forehead on the mattress beside her face.
Gillian skimmed her lips along the edge of his ear, licked a trickle of sweat sliding alongside his cheek and nuzzled closer, waiting, waiting….until the tension he built with his hard, sharp strokes finally coaxed her orgasm into full bloom. She gasped into his ear, clung hard to him, and gave a keening howl as it ripped through her.
His release came quickly on the heels of her own. His choked breaths and gasps added texture to the slowing staccato of his last strokes. Then he was falling over her, wrung out, his cock jerking inside her as his breaths rattled through his chest.
*~*~*
Be looking for this one, coming soon! It’s the sequel to Sin’s Gift, and a very sexy paranormal!
Contest: Do you watch paranormal television shows? What’s your current fave? Answer for a chance to win a free copy of one of my recent releases!
Hi! I’m new here, so don’t mind me as I get comfortable. I have recently hired an assistant, and what a God send. However, I’m still doing things last minute as I do my day job (editing) while trying to meet writing deadlines…and that doesn’t count family time!
I’m a writer, painter, editor, et al. I write everything from urban fantasy zombies to romance with happily ever after. My latest few stories have had magic in them. And Scotland. And Highlands. I am sensing a theme here. But what does it have to do with the aforementioned asthma attack?
The walk to her bedroom was as slow as she could manage. She didn’t want him knowing how badly she wanted this. He’d think her completely desperate.
