I have several pet peeves.

Smacking. Grinding of teeth. Slurping. Picking of toenails (no, seriously). Bad ass kids. Oops. Can I say that?

Yeah, there are several habits that are guaranteed to tap my nerves. I almost had to put my son out of the house because he smacked so loud that I could hear him clear across the room! But since he was only five years old at the time my husband frowned on evicting him. Good news is he learned to chew with his lips closed later that year so crisis averted but I didn’t get that home office…

So, as in life, there are several pet peeves I have when reading books. Some that yank me right up out of the story and make me yell, what the fu— Oops. I know I can’t say that. See? Just thinking about them has me lobbing F-bombs!

Here’s one. I love sexual tension as much as any red-blooded woman. The whole will-they-won’t-they- sexual-innuendo-hot-kiss-heavy-petting-but-timely-interruption thing is not only sexy but it draws you into the hero and heroine’s relationship. It has you rooting for them to get together and experience that special moment. It’s the big payoff! Yeah, so you thought. Three hundred pages in the book, the first love scene is on page two hundred and seventy five and its one and a half pages long! Wow. Really? Won’t be sticking around for the Epilogue. I’m too pissed. And unsatisfied.

Another irritation guaranteed to get my Agent Orange acting up? What I like to call the Sybil Syndrome. Case in point. Jane is a straight-laced, sheltered librarian. She doesn’t curse, has never had so much as a whiskey sour and the most dangerous situation she’s faced is a killer hang nail. One night she’s walking to her car after the library closes and a mugger jumps out of the bushes. Suddenly, Jane drops her stack of periodicals to the ground, leaps in the air and whirls around, nailing her would-be attacker in the jaw with a round house kick. How ‘bout that? I thought this book was about the sexy, bad boy hero turning the inexperienced heroine out. Not a woman with multiple personality disorders…Character consistency! Sheesh! Is she the Plain Jane or Jackie Chan?? I’m confused. And I ain’t finishing the book.

And one that I will return a book for? When characters change or compromises their belief system or standards for loooove. I recently read a book where the heroine did not want to become a mistress like her mother and live a kept existence that depended on the whim of her current lover. She fell in love with the hero, who was above her station, and at the end of the book consented to being his mistress because it was the only way they could be together. Okay, I’m still a little p.o.’d. Yes, they ended up together but I lost respect for the heroine in the process. She was willing to throw her beliefs, her standards that defined her on the altar of loooove. For a man. Yes, love conquers all but it shouldn’t ask you to demean yourself in the process. Unhuh. Not buying it. Well, technically, I did buy it but I took it back to the store the next day…

So now that I have vented and you all know the close call my son had with homelessness, what are your pet peeves in a book? What makes you want to drop kick a hero or heroine in a story? C’mon! Share!

Come visit me at my website and check out my current and upcoming releases with Ellora’s Cave Publishing!

Honeymoons can be dangerous.

I know what you’re thinking. Honeymoons are supposed to be all fun in the sun, margaritas served by cabana boys, and lots of lazy days in bed. Well that’s one way to do it.

My fiancé (now husband of twelve years) and I planned a more adventurous start to our marriage, and not the whips and chains variety. We decided to spend three weeks exploring New Zealand. We rented a campervan and there started the adventure.

Kiwis drive on the left side of the road. Since I’d never driven outside the US, it took me a little bit to get used to that. And I kept the damage to the campervan to a minimum. Hey, can I help it if that sign hung too low? Ever heard the tearing of metal to a rented vehicle? Not fun. So, yes, I got to figure out insurance claims in a foreign country.

Speaking of insurance claims, how could I forget to mention the inch long gash in my husband’s hand that he got on the way to the airport to leave? Like the alpha male he is, he wrapped it in paper towels and masking tape and got on board our flight. When we got to New Zealand, we headed to the nearest clinic thinking he’d need stitches and we’d be in for a huge medical bill. They cleaned him up and charged us “full price” because we didn’t have insurance. It was less than an emergency room co-pay here in the US.

I love New Zealand.

All patched up and back to the campervan. We drove along the wind-swept green hills through sheep grazing in pastures. Idyllic and gorgeous. Until the wind caught the side of the campervan and nearly shoved us off the side of a very large drop. We truly thought we’d die. But the wind only blew us a few feet off the road and we managed from there.

Let me see… what else? Oh, the small, tiny airplane that took us through rough weather, over the southern alps, and then dived down into a small landing strip. Couldn’t forget that. Scary. Really. Scenery was gorgeous, but next time, I think I’ll take a larger plane. Please.

Don’t get me wrong. We loved it. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. And we certainly enjoyed ourselves. After all, first born in a honeymoon baby. We had our lazy days, too.

But yes, honeymoons can be dangerous.

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The Forbidden Chamber by Ella Drake was released August 3rd by Samhain Publishing. In this gothic historical paranormal, the heroine Isabel learns how dangerous a honeymoon can be—with a cursed husband who turns into a giant Raven on their wedding night and warns her she will die if she enters the forbidden chamber.

Ella is a Dark Paranormal and Science Fiction Romance author published with Cobblestone Press, Liquid Silver Books, and Samhain Publishing. She has two releases coming soon from Carina Press, Silver Bound and Jaq’s Harp. Sometimes she dabbles in Weird SF stories (read The Adventures of Daphne for free on her website). To learn more about Ella, visit her webpage. Ella can also be found on facebook and twitter.

Nurse Ratched and Me
by Meg Benjamin

Thanks to my efforts at healthy diet and exercise, I’ve been spending a lot of time with Nurse Ratched lately. You remember Nurse Ratched, the nightmare administrator from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest? What you may not know is that most writers have a Nurse Ratched living in our heads. She’s the one who mutters “Shouldn’t you be writing?” as you sit in the sun, reading your paper and sipping a latte. She’s the one who says, “Three pages? Really?” when you’re ready to knock off for the day. She the one who sneers, “You call that a love scene?” over the pages you spent hours constructing. Nurse Ratched keeps you writing, but she also makes you miserable.

In my case, Nurse Ratched usually takes over my efforts to diet. This has its good and bad points. The good, of course, is that she really does keep me on course as much as possible. The bad is that she drives me crazy. If I want a snack, Nurse Ratched steps in—“You’re not really hungry, you know. You’re indulging yourself.” If I want to take a day off from exercising, Nurse Ratched is there. “A day off? With those hips?” Nurse Ratched surveys my wardrobe with a critical eye, pointing out that that shirt I was going to wear is just a wee bit tight around the middle. She counts the glasses of wine I have with dinner, and starts muttering at glass two.

Now eventually, I’m either going to reach my diet goal or decide I’m tired of dieting—that’s what usually happens. The problem then becomes making Nurse Ratched shut up. Because, of course, she never goes away when you want her to. Chances are I’ll have Nurse Ratched on my case for several months to come. I only hope I can distract her back to being my muse. Cranky, never satisfied, eternally critical. Yeah, that sounds about right.

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A future with the woman of his dreams is within his grasp…if the past will stay that way.
Konigsburg, Book 4

Erik Toleffson wasn’t looking to become Chief of Police. He’s got enough trouble trying to rebuild his relationship with his three brothers who, until just recently, ran the other way when he approached. He’s not the bully they grew up with, but bad memories are tough to overcome.

Morgan Barrett is as worn out as a vat full of crushed grape skins. She never planned to run Cedar Creek Winery, but there’s no one else to shoulder the load as her father recovers from an injury. All she needs is a little sleep. Just a five-minute nap in the booth at the Dew Drop Inn…if that guy across the bar would stop staring at her as if putting her head down on the table is a crime.

After Morgan yawns in Erik’s face, there’s nowhere to go but up. With time, though, their relationship warms like a perfectly blended Bordeaux. Until the shady mayor digs into Erik’s past and dredges up information that could drive a permanent wedge between him and his brothers—and sour any chance of a future with Morgan.

Warning: Contains hot sex with mango sherbet, crooked politicians, yuppie bikers, Bored Ducks, and a Maine Coon Cat with attitude.

Read an excerpt here
Buy a copy here

When I received the email from my editor at Ellora’s Cave telling me my novel, Sheet Music, had been accepted for publication, I was very quiet…for about ten seconds. Then, I let out a scream that was heard around the block. Or, at least by my father, who came running to see if aliens were trying to abduct me.

In that excited moment, and the blissful days that followed, I had no real concept of what awaited me on the road to publication. I knew edits would likely be part of the process. And a web site—I needed to get one! I had vague thoughts about contracts and covers, but really, what loomed ahead of me was the promise of uncharted territory and an exhilarating ride.

For those of you who are curious about what goes on behind the scenes, here is a diary of my actions from the day of that wondrous email to right now, as I sit here writing this blog post. For those of you who are published, I hope it will bring back fond memories. For those of you who are seeking publication, at least with an e-book publisher, I hope it will shed some light on what you can hope for.

~ Tibby’s Diary ~

5/21/2010 2:23 PM: Receive acceptance e-mail from editor.
5/21/2010 2:24 PM: Dance around the house and call everyone I know.
5/21/2010 4:46 PM: Reply to editor that, yes, I will take her editorial suggestions for additional changes to the manuscript. Of course I want them to publish my baby!
5/23/2010 5:20 PM: Receive a boatload of documents, including the coveted contract, from Ellora’s Cave in my email.
5/23/2010 7:33 PM: Send contract to my lawyer to look over.
5/23/2010 7:51 PM: Write the author bio which must be submitted among the other forms that came with the contract. (Realize later that when Kelli Collins tweets that everyone seems to have started writing when they were pre-puberty, she is probably referring to my author bio. Yes, I am embarrassed, but decide to leave in this tidbit since it’s true! *grin*)
5/23/2010 9:01 PM: Receive email response from editor that if I received contract documents, both my book title and my pen name have been accepted.
5/24/2010 7:54 PM: Send revisions to editor and receive reply that, wow, while it’s appreciated, the edits weren’t expected until I received the full line edited manuscript. No problem though. It’s less work to do later on.
5/24/2010 11:10 PM: Send revised synopsis to editor.
5/24/2010 7:22 PM: Receive email from lawyer advising me on changes to request in the contract. Turn email around to publisher requesting changes.
5/25/2010 7:23 AM: Received a few small edits to synopsis from editor, with directions to include final copy with contract.
5/25/2010 10:49 AM: Receive offer on new contract based on the changes I requested. One change has been accepted, the other denied. Turn email around to publisher stating that offered amendment is acceptable. Receive amended contract less than an hour later.

Over the next few days, I go on a road trip and attempt to return the contract to the publisher before my editor goes on a week’s vacation. This proves disastrous, as I overnight the packet without one of the most important forms. I receive an email from the publisher stating that the form is missing, and have to pay to overnight the package again, missing the deadline I’d set for myself.

I spend the week of 6/1/2010 working with a web designer on putting together my web site.
6/15/2010 11:10 AM: Receive word from editor that contract has been processed. Also receive another boatload of documents, including a hefty style guide to peruse!
6/20/2010 3:15 PM: Receive MORE documents detailing additional publisher policies, as well as invitations to author chat loops.
6/20/2010 5:32 PM: Receive line edits for Sheet Music.
6/20/2010 11:09 PM: Return edited manuscript to editor.
6/22/1010 9:28 AM: Receive PDF version of the signed contract.
7/2/2010 11:30 PM: Return completed interview form for my first blog interview!
7/10/2010 7:38 AM: Receive Final Line Edits (FLEs) from editor.
7/10/2010 11:01 AM: Return manuscript incorporating (FLEs) to editor.
7/14/2010 10:16 AM: Receive cover art and verify to publisher that my name is spelled correctly on the cover.
7/26/2010 1:10 PM: Receive copies of novel in official formats!
8/4/2010: Sheet Music is released!

Note: Over this time I had also been working on promotional efforts, including my web site, blogging, and have started two new novels, one of which is half finished! No rest for the wicked, but being wicked has never been so much fun!

You’re invited to read an excerpt of Sheet Music on the Ellora’s Cave web site. Here is the cover blurb:

Music journalist Kyra Martin faces the toughest assignment of her career—to write a cover story about enigmatic heartthrob David Tallis. Deadline looming, Kyra plans to go undercover. When she ends up under the covers with the sexy superstar instead, can both her career and their budding relationship survive?

With a closet full of skeletons to hide, and a paparazzi-fueled divorce behind him, David Tallis despises the press. When Kyra Martin bribes her way into his life, her sexy assets have him composing a duplicitous seduction. Ensnared in a media maelstrom of his own making, can David face the music? Or will he lose Kyra, along with another piece of himself?

Please contact me at tibby@tibbyarmstrong.com. I’d love to hear from you!

Unlikely Cover Model Paired with Hunky Caveman
by Cris Anson

At last October’s RomantiCon, Ellora’s Cave’s first annual erotic romance conference, I was invited to participate in a photo shoot. I was paired with hunky Angelo at his virgin cover-model gig for the Romantica™ publisher. (The other EC authors were Tara Nina posing with Taylor and Eve Vaughn with Rodney). My immediate reaction: Is the Pope Catholic? Does the sun set in the west?

If you’ve attended a Romantic Times convention, you’ve seen the Mr. Romance contestants or the Ellora’s Cavemen posing as a group with one attendee at a time, proceeds to charity, three minutes max and on to the next person in line. And yes, I have a few of those mementoes myself.

But this. This was fifteen minutes of permission to stand seriously close to that gorgeous Venezuelan Caveman, to look deeply into his warm brown eyes, to run my fingers through his long black hair. To have his undivided attention as he held me in his muscular arms.

Have I mentioned that Angelo is hawt?

He was wearing only a towel, as you can see from the photo gracing the cover of my July release WHAT SHE NEEDS, and I’m not positive (or maybe it’s wishful thinking), but he might have gone commando. Be still, my heart!

Alas, I could never quite forget the photographers arrayed around us—standing, kneeling, moving to get different camera angles. Furniture had been moved to the side. Sunlight poured in through the hotel room’s windows. Lights had been set up to the side and behind us. Directives flew like machine-gun fire.

“Look this way.” “Turn around just a bit to your left.” “Now move behind her.” And so on.

The results astounded me. Or, I should say, the results of Ellora’s Cave Art Director Syneca’s efforts with PhotoShop astounded me. Instead of the old broad I really am, I look like…someone Angelo might want to get closer to. Like someone living the script she wrote. Like Delia Barnes, the heroine of WHAT SHE NEEDS, who found her younger man in a most unexpected place—an erotic romance convention.

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Older widow Delia Barnes greets fellow authors before an erotic romance convention sporting a black eye, which she explains away with “I didn’t say ‘Yes, Master’ quick enough.” Sitting at the bar, burned-out ad executive and former Dom Kurt Reinhardt overhears that comment once too often and interrupts to suggest she needs a new Master.

Urged by her friends to accept the younger man’s invitation to learn some D/s basics—hey, an author needs to do her research, right?—Delia joins him to get first-hand experience at being submissive, starting with removing her panties in a corner booth. Later, she learns more than she bargained for when she spends a weekend at Kurt’s home with his eager business partner added to the mix.

But an innocent misstep brings Delia’s world crashing down around her. Can she trust Kurt with her heart…and her life?

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You can read an excerpt of WHAT SHE NEEDS and buy the book here: What She Needs

If you want to know more about RomantiCon 2010, here’s the link. We’ll be eagerly looking to see which of the Ellora’s Cavemen attend. *tha-THUMP tha-THUMP* Romanticon

To read more about me and my books, please check out my website, my MySpace page and my Amazon profile.

Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Best Friends…
By Lissa Matthews

Do you remember all the awkwardness of those situations? Especially when break-ups occur. My daughter, she’s 16, has had horrid luck with boys. I mean…were they ALWAYS this fickle? I know it’s always been said that girls are fickle, but dear heavens, I wasn’t and my friends weren’t nearly this wishy-washy when I was in high school as the guys are nowadays. Even the guys weren’t this idiotic. Were they? Maybe they were…

My daughter’s latest guy drama, and believe me, she doesn’t like drama of ANY KIND. No girl drama. And definitely no guy drama. She’s not afraid to tell you to take a hike when she’s had enough. Anyway, the latest guy drama is her ex-boyfriend’s best friend wants to date her. He’s even asked the ex-boyfriend if it would be okay for him to date her. Ex-boyfriend is great with it, but then… of course he is. He’s got a new girlfriend, even though when he broke up with my daughter—over Facebook—he told her there wasn’t another girl, there wasn’t going to be another girl, he just wanted to be on his own for a while… Yeah. Right. Uh huh. How many times did you hear that story when a boyfriend broke up with you? How many times did I hear that story?

Oh, you’re still stuck on the broke up over Facebook comment? Yeah, ya gotta love modern technology and social media. I’m gonna use that in one of my books. I’ve just got to. It’s not because I am using her pain as a jumping off point, but seriously… It’s just too good to pass up. Some anti-hero on a book does that to the heroine… Next, there will be a break up over Twitter, first in a direct message, then in a public message. There’s no tact, no concern for someone’s feelings. It sucks. When it happened to my daughter, it hurt her. Deeply. Made her cry which made me want to drive over to his house and punch him, flatten his car tires, egg and toilet paper his house, among other things… I didn’t. I sat with her as she cried. I cried too.

It’s not just social media though that creates this little bit of…disconcerting distance and inability to communicate effectively, communicate face to face. My cousin was broken up with over text message, another friend broken up with in email. (I have used those in books.) Back in high school, it was done in a note passed from one classmate to another and another and another until it got to you. At school when they have to see you, they can always try to avoid you, but you know how to get them to at least face you, even if you have to make a scene. Now, you can just be put on ignore when they don’t want that confrontation.

I know I always tried to do it face to face, though, it’s harder that way, more painful. But as far as my daughter is concerned though, it should never be cool for the ex’s best friend to go after the ex’s ex-girlfriend. She says it’s awkward. She doesn’t like it. She doesn’t want to be put in the position of having to say yes or no. Friends yes. Dating. Not so much. And she doesn’t want another broken heart. Facebook jerk really hurt her and it took her a while to get over it.

So, did you ever date your ex-boyfriend’s best friend? Did he ever date your best friend? Did your best friend and his best friend ever date? How did you handle those awkward moments? My ex-boyfriend didn’t exactly date my best friend, but they were quite ‘close’. I didn’t handle that well. Not so much with him, but I had serious issues with her for a while after that.

C’mon now, dish y’all!

I have to thank Delilah for having me on her blog. It’s awesome being here.

And now, a little about me… My name is Lissa Matthews and I write kinky contemporary erotic romance. My next release is later this month, on August 24th and is coming from Samhain Publishing. It’s my first shifter and is titled Arctic Shift. It is the first in a 3 novella series, Denali Heat about werebears… Polar Bears. I’ve included the cover and the blurb for it here for you.

Again, thanks to Delilah for having me and to all of you for reading my little post. Have a wonderful week!
~lissa

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She believes in myths…can she believe in destiny?
Denali Heat, Book 1

Unlike her adventurous sister, Ruby is perfectly content to let her mind be the wanderlust while her body stays safely in Chicago. Melanie wouldn’t be out of touch this long without a damned good reason, though. Which means it’s time for a giant step outside her comfort zone.

While Denali National Park is like another planet, the myths and legends that saturate this wild land are right up her alley. The wilderness guide waiting for her—naked in her bed—looks about as safe as a polar bear.

Carson’s people are kin to the great beast, right down to the white hair. Before Ruby ever set foot in Alaska, his inner bear knew that Melanie’s little sister was his mate. He’s doing his level best not to let his primal needs scare her, but everything about her sends his urge to possess her into overdrive.

To his surprise, revealing he’s a shifter only stimulates her innate curiosity. Warming her with the perfect fire of their lovemaking, easy. Convincing her that real love isn’t a myth—and making her want to stay in his home, his bed, his heart—now, that’s a problem…

Warning: cozy flannel PJs, a naked shifter, incredible food and some fireside sex hot enough to melt the polar ice caps…

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My website
My twitter

Making Characters Real
By Vivian Arend

Hello all, I’m Vivian Arend taking over the blog for Delilah today, and I wanted to chat about what makes characters real—but don’t worry. This isn’t a “how to” for writers; it’s maybe more of a rant from the reader side of my brain.

There are the clichés about different kinds of heroes and heroines found in romance novels. You know the ones I’m talking about—the rich millionaire who’s just gotta have his innocent virgin secretary. Right now, on the desk, because he’s so domineering and so masculine he makes your eyebrows ache. She’s beautiful and sweet, and even though she’s not supposed to be, she’s secretly in love with him and somehow will find the backbone to a) seduce him b) want to raise his secret baby alone without any $$ support c) clandestinely save his business/ family estate/ camel sales empire from within using her super sekrit secretary skills.

Okay, honestly? I’ve read a few of those, and enjoyed them, but after a while it’s like eating Pringles potato chips. There’s no flavor and the only thing you’re waiting for is the crunch. I have no problems with stories about any kind of people and any kind of background, but there’s something that appeals to me even more about a character I can relate to and would want to be friends with.

So yes, a school teacher, or a sheriff. An accountant, a baker, a chef, a dishwasher. I could go through the alphabet for ordinary, everyday professions and find the kind of people I want to read about—and yet that’s still not enough.

What makes them real? Especially if they are partially imaginary—i.e., shifters or a part of a paranormal story? I can’t personally turn into a wolf (I’ve tried—nothing happens) but I can totally relate to some characters who can. And the difference is—what they do, how they react to situations is real. They make mistakes, but the mistakes aren’t the “if we’d sit down and chat over a coffee this would be fixed” kind. They apologize when they’re wrong. Sometimes they are goofy, and sometimes they cry, but when it comes down to it, they act a little like I would if I were thrust into their situation.

Why would I want to read about people who are like me? Isn’t reading a way to escape life and fade into a fantasy world for a bit? Yes, and no. Reading, to me, is also a way to learn, and if I’m connecting with a character, for whatever reason, I can also learn from their mistakes. I can see their strengths and maybe, just maybe, there will moments that the thing they do that isn’t my normal response—maybe I’ll learn a new reaction that will make my life better.

All from reading a book? Maybe not always—there’s time for sheer Pringles reading—but most of the time I like my romance with a hearty dollop of real. Makes me cheer for the characters, and makes me happy inside.

So what about you? Where do you stand on the reality level for your characters? Do you like them to be someone who you could be friends with, or the more ‘fantasy-out there-makes me dream’ type?

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Vivian Arend writes lighthearted paranormal, contemporary red-hot cowboys, and everything in between, all with characters that she’d usually like to go and have a coffee with. Her latest book is out today: Whirlpool—with sexy merfolk shifters who live in a quiet little seaside town, and an ordinary archeologist who falls in love with them.

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Soft shoulders and dangerous curves…

Braden can’t deny he’s always wanted Chelsea, but getting involved wouldn’t be fair. She has college and big dreams ahead of her—he has no desire to leave Jaffrey’s Cove. Plus, there’s the fact merfolk women often take more than one lover. Share her? Not in this lifetime.

When Chelsea’s plans for the future fall apart, the only bright spot remaining is Sheriff Braden Marley. She’s been angling for a shot at the gentle giant’s heart—and the rest of him—for a long time. Except he not only holds her at a maddening arm’s length, he somehow manages to keep other men away, too.

Enter Jamie Powell, a human marine archeologist who’s in town for a cataloging project. His instant chemistry with Chelsea inspires her to try a sexy new tactic: make Braden jealous enough to stop dragging his feet and start leaving his shoes under her bed.

The ensuing storm generates a boatload of complications none of them saw coming. A forbidden attraction no amount of merfolk magic can erase. And the danger that their secrets could be exposed to the outside world…

Warning: Seductive shimmering lights, a sexy interlude on the strip club floor, mysterious Spanish lovers, and a trio caught in an eddy of intense sexual attraction. Swim at your own risk.
Read an excerpt