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Guest Blogger: Michelle Polaris
Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

See the bottom of this post for the name of yesterday’s winner!

Erotic Romance – Life Affirming

by Michelle Polaris

My mind is on babies and the miracle of birth. My sister, bless her soul, just had her third little boy. She has three now under the age of four. Oy! And although I’ve heard the advice to avoid the subject of children in erotic romance for the mood killer it may be, I made a decision to throw that advice out the window in my last release. In all truth, no actual babies appeared in my story, but the subject of fertility and the goal of becoming parents were explicit in the plot.

I believe the sexiest erotic romance involves deep emotional bonds between the characters, and authenticity behind the painful struggles and incredible emotional risks those characters must take together. Children and the commitment they symbolize are a loaded risk. But they provide one of the greatest sources of hope imaginable. And hope translates to a sense of future. If I want to create a story where one feels my characters standing on the precipice of their future, balancing, eagerly or fearfully reaching out despite their risk of falling, dangling a baby out there in front of them does the trick.

Throw in the fact that I write BDSM erotic romance and this may seem strange. But I firmly believe BDSM story lines are an awesome opportunity to explore honest communication and vulnerability between characters. And, hey, kinky people have children too.

Putting aside that twist, am I the only one who feels this way about the subject of babies in erotic romance? How have they worked or not worked for you as you’ve read stories touching on this issue?

Check out my newest release, Fettered Love, at Ellora’s Cave to see if I’ve managed to pull off this idea without killing the sexy, kinky, tantalizing pull between my three characters. My novella is part of the 1-800-DOM-help series new to EC—BDSM at it’s best from a group of talented Ellora’s Cave authors.

Kirk, Master to his long-time lover Evan, decides it’s time to place his permanent collar around Evan’s sexy cock. But when he proposes, he faces a surprise. Evan wants a child. So where will they find a kinky woman to help?

A mysterious card with the 1 -800-DOM-help number advertises assistance for unusual problems in the BDSM community. When Evan calls, he recognizes the voice of Sarah—Kirk’s best friend from childhood, Evan’s Mistress of several years in college. They both loved her and suffered betrayal when she walked out of their lives.

Now she proposes to be the mother of their child. No strings, just a chance to have the men she respects and loves back in her life. Evan embraces the idea while Kirk rages with mistrust.

At Evan’s request, they share one night of passion, Kirk and Sarah working together to dominate Evan in the scene of his erotic fantasies, hoping it will be enough to rekindle trust and make all their dreams come true.

Safe, sane and consensual,
Michelle Polaris

The winner of yesterday’s prize is…Sarah M! Congrats, Sarah, and be sure to send me an email to collect your prize!

13 comments to “Guest Blogger: Michelle Polaris”

  1. Marika Weber
    · March 2nd, 2011 at 10:39 am · Link

    I’ll be honest, I’ve been on the fence with your new book but now that I have a better understanding of it, I want it now! Thank you for explaining more of the jist of the story. I love the series 1-800-DOM-help.


  2. hales
    · March 2nd, 2011 at 11:23 am · Link

    It looks fantastic. I have a USCG series and the heroine got pregnant and in the end there was interaction. One reviewer said she generally doesn’t like children mixing with erotic romance but no one else commented on their being a child.

    I think that people don’t have the same perception of erotica.
    While there is stories more based on pleasure than relationship…there are relationships enhanced by intimacy that is beautiful and erotic in nature because we open up those closed doors and allow the reader to see fully the deep bond two loving individuals share. Because the two are so comfortable together, and the stumbling blocks to learning and in some cases relearning how to love self and others the intimacy is on a different plane of transcendence.
    To me the next rational step is building a family, to others–maybe they are more hung up on the sexual relationship and unable to fully understand the emotional growth, the process of giving and recieving which ties both the physical and mental parts of being a couple together.

  3. Marika Weber
    · March 2nd, 2011 at 11:35 am · Link

    I forgot to comment on the baby issue. I have to agree with Hales. For me, erotica is about the journey towards love and committment between the people in the story and how they explore that. Sex is secondary to me, most of the time. In some cougar books that I have read, the heroine and hero talk about the baby issue and worth or not it is possible or if they even want one. Sometimes I feel that writers leave out the marriage/committment/family issues off the pages because most readers don’t really care about that when they read erotica. Call me old-fashioned but I like to know this stuff. To me a truly HEA, is trust, committment and love. I want to know their feelings towards family issues.

    Sorry so wordy………… 🙂

  4. Kirsten C.
    · March 2nd, 2011 at 1:16 pm · Link

    I really think issues of the future and expectations are essential to ANY story. As a reader, I don’t just want to know how the characters got there, but where they are going to go now. Most stories that stick with me are the ones that have characters you hate to leave. So I like knowing what’s coming and where they stand. Babies are a part of life, well and let’s face it sex-cuz how would we get the babies LOL!!! So why wouldn’t elements of life and sex be included?! :0)

  5. Michelle Polaris
    · March 2nd, 2011 at 3:58 pm · Link

    Marika–Thank you for your honesty about indecision over the book. I hope you do end up enjoying it. It sounds like we’re on the same page about believable trust and commitment in erotic romance.

    Hales–A very thoughtful comment. Thank you. I agree that the emotional growth is povital to tying partners together. It’s crucial to any story I write.

    Kirsten–Yes, babies are the very stuff of life, and very often of sex. So why not acknowledge it. Grown ups don’t stop having grown up needs even when they have kids. If a writer is blessed enough to be able to write characters that are whole and balanced, she will be able to keep up the sexy factor while including kid issues.

    Thank you all for stopping by today and commenting. It makes the whole blogging process much more fun.


  6. hales
    · March 2nd, 2011 at 4:22 pm · Link

    you’re welcome! I look forward to reading your story 🙂

  7. Marika Weber
    · March 2nd, 2011 at 4:25 pm · Link

    I bought it…………thought you would like to know. 😛

  8. Michelle Polaris
    · March 2nd, 2011 at 4:29 pm · Link

    Thanks hales and Marika. Happy March!


  9. Diane Sadler
    · March 2nd, 2011 at 4:53 pm · Link

    Congratulations Sarah!
    I like having stories with babies or possibility of babies; after all our lives are filled with them.

  10. Fedora
    · March 2nd, 2011 at 5:25 pm · Link

    Michelle–I like knowing more about the characters, and I think it makes the story and our relationship with them more intimate. So yes, bring on the babies 😉

  11. Michelle Polaris
    · March 2nd, 2011 at 6:09 pm · Link

    Diane–If you end of feeling connected to a character, then it’s extra lovely to feel you can celebrate with them when they have a success-like getting pregnant. Way to go Sarah!

    Fedora–I agree that knowing the characters and all the dimensions of their lives makes the experience of a story more intimate. Which makes everything about it come alive.

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting. It made my experience more intimate as well. 🙂

  12. Jen B.
    · March 2nd, 2011 at 8:53 pm · Link

    I had always wondered about the children question when reading erotica. Like you said, even kinky people have kids. The book is an interesting concept.

  13. Michelle Polaris
    · March 2nd, 2011 at 9:56 pm · Link

    Jen–It does seem strange that the issue isn’t raised often. Writers make plenty sure to cover the bases around safe sex and talk about condoms (as they should). But characters don’t spend time thinking about pregnancy as much. Maybe even just daydreaming what it might mean to have a child with their partner. Now I wouldn’t expect this to be the case in many male/male novels, but guess what? The idea to have a kid in Fettered Love is first brought up in the context of the male/male relationship I have in my story. So never say never. Gay men want kids too. Even kinky gay men.

    Thanks for stopping by.


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